The Elitist's Least Favorite Video Game Moments: Borderlands (please don't hit me!)

      To start, I have two things to say. Borderlands is probably one of my favorite games on the 360, top 10 to be sure, it was a fresh game, with innovative game play, wonderfully applied graphics, endearing characters, hateful baddies, and a great plot. Mostly. Second, SPOILERZ WILL FOLLOW, because it seems that me and Chris are going to continue whining about endings, because that is exactly what I am going to do. Again. Sorry, but crappy endings are the bane of my happiness when it comes to video games. So let us begin.

      If you haven't played and beaten Borderlands, do it. Despite what you just read, the game is absolutely worth it's slightly disappointing ending. To be entirely honest, I didn't/don't really have to time to think of something creative, this popped in my head while I was studying, so I am running with it. The game is fantastic, an absolutely stunning game, made even more awesome by it's seem-less multiplayer. Love it love it love it, so, go play it, or read on.                                    

Such a B-A group. Yea, even the girl...

     So after so much praise, what was it that makes it worthy of my lexicon of less-than-laudable game moments? Well, really just the ending. Through out the entire game you are being coaxed along this path of death and carnage (baddies death, your carnage, lets get serious) with the intent of obtaining some legendary treasure, expressed only in rumor and described in name only, The Vault. Apparently whatever lies in the mysterious vault was left by an alien race know as the Eridians. There is more to it than that, but essentially treasure seekers are drawn the desolate planet of Pandora in order to find the priceless alien technology that was left behind. So, you are to find it. Easy enough? Well, no one really knows where it is, nor does every one truly believe it exists at all. Well, upon your arrival, you are presented with the face of a beautiful woman, who claims to be a "guardian angel" and she says that if you follow her direction, do exactly as she says, and tell no one, she can lead you to The Vault. So because that makes so much bloody sense, the player decided that's a great idea, and you being you quest to find "The Vault".

To be fair, I probably would have listened to her.

    
     So you follow her directions, and you fight your way through Pandora, helping some inhabitants, and ruining others day. Those that help you, get help, those that hurt you? Well, you can imagine what your rocket launcher that shoots flaming missiles can do to such an individual. Poor sap. Anyway, after many trials tribulations, dead monsters, and beheaded psychos you find your way to the well sought after Eridian Vault. But wait! First kill this really big monster!! RAWR FINAL BOSS FIGHT

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

The Destroyer. I wish I was kidding. I wonder if I am supposed to shoot the giant blue eye?

     So you kill this all powerful Destroyer! Alright! Wealth! Power! Everything you could ever want will now be yours! You have found the mythical and evasive Vault!!! Oh no, wait, you were actually just used by some ethereal [expletive removed].... Because you see, The Vault was actually just something created by those silly aliens to keep this giant ugly thing inside, and thus unable to kill everyone. So miss "Guardian Angel" thought it would be cool to trick you into finding the vault so you could kill the thing before the other ar-tards running around trying to find "The Vault" wouldn't unleash some horrid evil. I really have a hard time believing this giant amorphous ...mutant octopus... could do much to an already desolate wasteland of a planet so yay you saved a sterile and contemptible planet. Hurray you found The Vault! It's actually a giant effing monster you have to risk your life to kill!! Grrr... I wanted alien artifacts. I wanted to buy my own planet...