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Monday, February 28, 2011

The Hilarity of GTA IV: Something to Hold You Over


Hello, beloved readers! I've found it difficult to line up a proper interview with that slippery Argonian, City-Swimmer, for my next biographical piece, so here's an amusing bit of ridiculosity to keep you going through the relentless struggle that is the week.


Thursday, February 24, 2011

We Dare Trailer Drives Blogger To Comtemplate Suicide


Look, I don't usually post things like this. For years we've had Wii lifestyle trailers shoved down our throats to the point where I can just kind of ignore them. But just now, I have seen something so horrifying, so unholy, that I just had to post it here. Misery loves company and misery will probably never leave me after this. You've been warned.


In the words of Cecil from FFIV, "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?"

To my friends on the O and E team, I might not make it. This trailer has driven me to the point where life seems meaningless. I'm trying to fight the urge to just end it all, but I may fail. Just remember that I tried. I love you all...

New Official Gameplay Trailer for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Released!



Bethesda has released a thoroughly epic new trailer for Skyrim, further heightening my already pretty ridiculous excitement about this game. Check it out!! Seriously. It will be the best thing since Jesus. Or any other religious figure (gotta be pc)... Look at the gameplay! It is just so pretty :D

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Gears of War 3: Officially Confirmed To Launch On September 20th



Initially Microsoft told all the fans eager to finish Epic's epic saga that we would be diving head first into the game, which takes place 18 months after the events of Gears of War 2, sometime in April. Our desires to find out who the Lambet really are, and see how the new human stronghold on the island of Vectes stood against the Locust horde, were crushed when the world was informed that the game would be delayed until some arbitrary fall time (September...ish... Microsoft does like September after all). Well, after several months of "uhhh.. okay so when..?" Microsoft announced that GoW3 will officially launch on September 20th, 2011. The reason for the push back, claimed Microsoft and Epic Games, was to have a chance to polish up the game. This game is currently being called the most polished GoW title yet. Honestly, I'm completely okay with games getting pushed back in order for them to be a better. I'm all for it. (However don't get carried away. Use some discretion...  Blizzard....)

So on September 20th, you can finally finish the story of Marcus, Dom, and the three new female Gears, and their fight for Earth. You can join up with your favorite Gears, in an all new 4-player co-op campaign. You may also choose to just kill everyone in the 5v5 multiplayer, playing on some of the maps Microsoft announced:

Trenches
Overpass
Mercy
Checkout
Thrashball






Or, you might crave for a change in style, and play in the new game mode "Beast mode", in which players take control of Locust soldiers to (I can only assume) kill humans. 

The game will also feature the following weapons (and probably more to be announced later):

Bayonet Charge
Retro Lancer
Sawed-off Shotgun
OneShot
Incendiary Grenade
Digger Launcher

I am super stoked personally, and will be taking my chance to play the game with the open multiplayer Beta Epic has promised to release. The Beta will be accessible with the purchase of Bulletstorm, as well as in several other ways (or so Epic promises).

Dead Space 2: Severed DLC


What's this!? What's this!? I can't believe my eyes!
What's this!? More Dead Space on the rise!

Vietnam Ministry Of Information and Communication Tries To Stop Late Night Gaming


For all the complaining I do about American culture, pretty much all culture really, there are moments when I'm reminded that I'm lucky to live here, especially when it comes to gaming rights. True, there is some dumbass Supreme Court stuff going on right now, but at least I don't live in a country that actively censors games (I'm not going to name names). While that isn't exactly part of the issue here, at least as far as I know (I don't know how entertainment media is dealt with in Vietnam), we don't exactly have this problem either.

But seriously, these guys can go to hell.

According to vietnamnews.vnanet.vn (did I get that right?), the Ministry of Information and Communication in Vietnam has asked internet service providers to block access to on-line games every day from 10 P.M. to 8 A.M. by March 3. Apparently, in Vietnam, the government thinks that the side effects of late night gaming are a big problem and that it's up to them to curtail it.

Doesn't seem so bad now. (JOKE!)

According to the ministry's Deputy Minister Le Nam Thang, internet management should be improved in such a way that it meets the demands for information while not negatively effecting the lives of young people. Also, any organizations that violate these regulations will have their services canceled. The ministry claims it will revise the decree this year to make improvements in the future, but either way gamers will probably lose.Doesn't really seem like such a socialist now, does he? (Note: this is coming from someone who DIDN'T vote for Obama)

Makes ya feel kinda lucky doesn't it. Our best wishes go out to our gaming brethren in Vietnam.

*Actual* 3DS Launch List

If you pre-ordered your 3DS, you probably had a similar experience to the one me and Chris had. Sweet you preserved a 3DS says the sales clerk, who then proceeds to tell you how you should pre-order the games you want, because if you don't you might not get it, because they often don't get many new releases shipped in great quantity (you are stupid for that, GameStop. I can say that, I used to work there... that is how it works right?) so you might as well reserve it otherwise, you might not get it! Well okay sure whatever, show me the list, says I. Oh... cool... nothing I actually want comes out until... well later... so, on day one, here is what you get!

Pilotwings Resort - Nintendo
Steel Diver - Nintendo
Nintendogs + cats - Nintendo
Super Street Fighter IV 3D Edition - Capcom
The Sims 3 - EA
Madden NFL Football - EA Sports
Pro Evolution Soccer 2011 3D - Konami
LEGO Star Wars III: The Clone Wars - LucasArts
Ridge Racer 3D - Namco Bandai
Super Monkey Ball 3D - Sega
Bust-A-Move Universe - Square Enix
Samurai Warriors: Chronicles - Tecmo Koei
Asphalt 3D - Ubisoft
Combat of Gaints Dinosaurs 3D - Ubisoft
Rayman 3D - Ubisoft
Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Shadow Wars - Ubisoft

Selling at $39.99 (£24.99) you could buy them all for the low low price of $639.84!!
Don't do that though... Get Street Fighter, it looks cool. Maybe Rayman. LEGO Star Wars if you get really bored. We'll let you know if any thing else becomes worthy.

I WANT LEGEND OF ZELDA: OCARINA OF TIME NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Happy Belated Birthday, Link!



Yesterday we celebrated 25 years of one of the greatest franchises of all time, the Legend of Zelda. Between the lot of us, the hours poured into the series are probably uncountable. However, nothing I say can possibly do this piece of amazingness justice, so I'll just say it was drawn by Japanese artist ag+ and it might, no, IS the greatest fan-art in the history of forever. Happy birthday, Link!

(Guess what!? The picture was too big! So here's a link to one of my favorite sites that has a good picture of it.)



Monday, February 21, 2011

Marvel Vs Capcom 3 (Viewtiful!)

















Guy’s love fighting games...I am not sure why this is but it IS and undeniable truth of the world. ( Much like the fact that Michael Jackson liked little children.) Perhaps it is the idea of getting to beat each other senseless without having to do any work at all or maybe….just maybe….it is the large bouncy breast that every fighting game developer slaps on the chicks. I mean with breast’s that perfectly obey the laws of physics it is unreasonable to expect even the most chaste of men play the game with both hands. Now moving on from my sexist rant ^^ let us now discuss the merit of this wonderful title.

Marvel vs Capcom is part of the original generation of fighting games. The series has been around for years of years and it is one of the few that have gotten better with age. This new installment to the series shows all the signs of a classic face lift. The character models have been redone, the graphics are on a new engine, the controls have been simplified and oh yah they added some pretty dreamy characters don’t you think. (Drifts off into a fantasy about Wesker and Dante). *Sigh* Well back to reality as in the previous game the majority of the game is based on 3v3 fights lasting anywhere from 30 sec to infinity. The goal of which is to simply grind your opponents into the dust with a rainbow of colors and NUMBERS. Now that we have discussed the fast majority of how it reminds us of the old let us now discuss the shiny new implants it got!

Single Player

The Story:

It’s a fighting game….why on earth do you care about the story….ok fine fine here is your dam story…..Galactus comes to destroy the earth….you must stop him….the end. You happy…..or would you like me to flush it out more for you in a 400 page epic complete with musical accompaniment by journey? If you said yes….screw you….screw you all…..




















Arcade mode

Under the banner of single player you will find first and foremost the classic arcade mode. As you would imagine this game type is the classic human vs computer tournament in which the player fights in 6 advancing rounds with each won fight causing the computer to increase in difficulty (it never gets easier does it) until you fight (insert epic drum roll here) Galactus. Now every fight up to this is pretty much the same. You just have a three v three battle with computers going one on one. However, this boss fight for lack of a better word mixes it up. The first thing that happens is Barney on steroids summons a dapple ganger of some random characters and instructs it to fight you. Naturally since it is a fair fight you begin to pwn the poorly engineered copy with ease, but wait a minute he has a friend. It is at about the half way point on the clone’s health that yet another clone appears and joins the fray. From here it becomes an epic gangbang of aerial combos and death. On a normal difficulty it is hard but not impossible to defeat these two with a decent amount of skill and strategy. However, for the harder (I like pointy things shoved up my butt) settings such as very hard I would recommend being as lame, gay (despite intuition) and cheap as possible because these two will combo you to death in less than 20 seconds given the chance.

A great way to just blow through this phase is to use Ammy and instantly change her weapon to beads and then proceed to whip them to death with your impressive heavy attack mashing skills (thank god you guys have practiced rapid movements with your hands!). Once the two degenerate excuses of living creatures have fallen the giant purple monster appears in all his flamer glory. Where he proceeds to use a plethora of god mody attacks to try and finish you. For this part of the fight the basic strategy is fairly simple but allow me to spell it out for you. DO NOT GET HIT! Pretty much everything Galactus does is a 30-141 hit combo that will annihilate your characters. The range of most of these is ridiculous trying to do your fancy dodges is out of the question. Seriously try it I bet he back hands you so fast that you end up thinking you went back to brothel (never never again!)! The only real option is to block…wait for one of his cool down phases and then attack. This makes for a long…tedious and overall annoying as hell boss fight….(yah developers I said it …not challenging…annoying)

Training Mode

Wait you mean to tell me there is a mode where I can just sit and endlessly punch a person that doesn’t move? HUZZAH god has answered my prayers! Yes boys and girls MvC3 as its predecessors boast of a training game type where all you studious players can practice your combos of death and destruction that you will use to rip out my heart and shove it down my own wind pipe. (I hate you all….every single one of you…yes even you in the corner over there….I loathe you…) The training mode also features a command display setting that allows you to view your control inputs along with a cpu behavior section that allows you to control the cpu’s basic behavior patterns. Literally any and every situation that could come up in the battle can be simulated here.

Mission Mode

Here is pretty much the MvC kindergarten. Where the game takes all you little dunces by the hand and says, “Here let me teach you how to beat some ones face in…or at least pull down your pants and bend over.” This mode lets you choose a character and then goes through a nice little tutorial that teaches you combos. At first the combos requested of you are pretty basic but soon you see an exponential growth in difficulty until you get to the end where you start to forget what button comes next in the 50 movement sequence. While this tool is useful and a good way to gain basic knowledge about character movements and game play it is no substitute for basic experience. However, for those of you just starting or trying new character this is a fast way to learn, easy and effective combos that you can use straight out of the gate.










Multiplayer

Quick/ Ranked Matches

Now this is one of the shinning starts in the new MvC3 universe. The multiplayer game play has been beautifully streamlined and polished. The online match making system is fast and for the most part lag free. The ranking system is fair and accurate insuring competitive matches and heart pounding excitement as you rise through the ranks winning honor for your house (wait a minute…that’s not right….oh never mind). The way ranked matches work is that your actual rank is based on the number of wins you have and over what rank opponents. Having 500 wins over a novice will place you firmly in a amateur category while having 10 wings over a 8th degree lord will make you a 9th degree one. It is a very smart and effective way to do the ranking systems. It insures that every person in a rank belongs there and has won the matches necessary to hold that title.


Versus

Oh come on you guys know this one. It’s were two people on the same Xbox or PS3 go head to head for bragging rights and the occasional hooker. Just like any other match each person picks three characters and they go at it.

Praise

Marvel vs. Capcom 3 is a beautifully peace of gamesmanship. The character models, movements, combos and supers a visually appealing and give the game a larger than life feelings. Each hit and movement is fast and flashy with absolute everything looking like a cinematic fight scene. The characters for the most part move as they should, stager, guard and counter (thought countering is not very useful since the window of opportunity is about .2 seconds for some characters) when appropriate and pull off breath taking feats of strength and skill that will make ev

en the most hardened fighting gamer smile with delight at can of whoop ass they just opened. The normal controls are for the most part intuitive and easy to use letting even the newest to title easily learn and play with some more experienced players. For the most part the button and movement input of most combos transfer from character to character though the actual move that is generated by this input is different. You see each character is different and unique in their own way and has a set of attacks that is completely exclusive to them. This creates an unimaginable amount of move variety and possible strategies that can be created by simply altering the characters in your team.


Criticism

Alright up to this point I have been pretty much a fan girl of the game. You have listened to me gush forth about how I love the flow of combat, the character models, game types and just over all game play (besides the horrific Galactus fight)it is now only fair that I mention the bad.

The overarching complaint I have with this game is also something I praised and that is the control scheme and simple button layout options. Back in MvC II it took skill to be good at this game. The simplified control layout out and combos made easy system has taken a little bit off the bite off the game for me. To be honest it is too simple and easy to chain combos and deal ridiculous amounts of damage. For the most part you can spam the same basic combo and be more effective than a person who learns the more advance ones. In my opinion it’s like the game has been scaled down for a more……..dimwitted audience. The changed has increased the games marketability and overall gamer base but has cheated some of the more loyal and dedicated (hardcore) fans of the series out of the complexity they deserve.

Do not get me wrong this is a great fighting game that will fulfill the needs of every basic-casual gamer. However, for the pro fighting gamers this title will never be a true option. This game lacks the feeling that every move you chose has a purpose and that even one missed button could break your beautifully constructed combo and leave wide open for a counter attack. While this is a minor complaint the more pressing is

sue is the simple control’s option. To me this is possibly a game breaking option for ranked play. Choosing this button configuration gives even the newest of gamers the same move set and basically skills as an elite player with hours of experience. The fact that it is even an option to allow people to use the simple controls in ranked play is an embarrassment. It promotes not learning the combos or even the basic game play mechanics. It legitimately turns this game into a button mashing fest that requires only three buttons to play effectively… no brain or skill required. I am not saying that the feature needs to be removed for the game as a whole…but it does need to be removed from ranked play. If you cannot play the game on a normal setting you have no business being in the same ranked game as a real gamer.

Next on my list of complaints is the unlockables and points system. While the basic idea of giving you player points for completing certain modes in the game was solid capcom’s execution was lacking. Most of the more substantial rewards’ values were much to low and to be honest there wasn’t enough of them. For Christ sake look at the titles list page….there must be over 9000!….which without doubt makes it the most numerous of the rewards in the game. I mean I do love me some titles(like xxSuperLord ofDarknessxx *omg so cool*) but that is kind of silly. I would have much rather have seen alternate costumes, more characters… another joke game mode….or even difficulty setting. While yes there are a few characters, movies and art work…and that’s neat and all…. I was a little disappointed to find out how quick and easy it was to get most of these. I mean all the characters are unlocked in the first 8,000 player points and all the opening movies open up after 60,000(about 5 hours of game play if your Outlaw or Elitist…I mean come on they don’t have girls =P).

Seriously though, one play through on normal arcade pretty much did it for unlocking the characters. While some of you may be yelling at me that this is a good thing because you get the characters you love early in the game I will respectfully disagree. While getting the characters was fun I now I have little to nothing to look forward to in the game besides multiplayer. So overall my complaint is just that the rewards on not correctly valued. I pretty much got akuma by sitting on my controller and all I get is a stupid title for beating the game on very hard….what is wrong with this picture. The game pretty much gives you no incentive to replay it or complete it on the harder difficulties. After the original four unlock able characters and movies alls that is left is art work, voices, pictures and omg hold your breath…..titles (thought I would say numbers didn’t you). The first three of which I have listed are able to be obtained through speed runs on the very easy difficulty.

Lastly, on my bitch list is just the character balancing. For the most part MvC did a decent job balancing the characters and making them all viable for use but there are a few that stand out above the rest as cheap and overpowered. The poster child for this is Sentinel. This character has a large health pool, a high damage dealing constant and a spam able beam move that makes him a nightmare to face.





















Next, on the list of over powered is Ammy! Her bead weapons and machine fire style ice balls is a headache to fight through. A person who is agile enough to maneuver her well can get you into an impossible game of cat and mouse.












The last character that I would like to mention as unbalance is actually underpowered and this Phoenix. Her health is ridiculously low for her damage out put and skill set. Even with the possibility to be reborn that skill alone is not enough to make up for it. Getting got in one combo alone will end her immediately and ha

ving her on your team is pretty much like having a cardboard box for a character....a cardboard box that shoots fireballs.












































Overall Marvel vs. Capcom 3 is a beautiful, fun and exciting game…thought not one of the greats of our era. It will be popular for a while and return to obscurity because it lacks the difficulty and replay value to keep us hooked. It will remain fun and will defiantly be game we will return to from time to time to time humiliate our friends with but it will never command the same kind of dedication and love that games such as mass effect, Zelda, portal and red dead redemption have earned in our hearts. It is a good fighting game but it is just that good. For those of you that say the multiplayer will still be an option I will leave you with one qualifier. If they remove simple controls from Ranked play then yes. Marvel vs Capcom may indeed remain a flagship fighter for our era. That is a big if and only if though.

Marvel vs Capcom 3 I give you 7.2 slightly melted marshmallows out of 10 for a job well done.


PS: Find the Pineapple! ^^

TheOandE Episode 3!

Hey everyone! It's podcast three! Sorry it took so long to get it up, we have just been really busy. First off, understand this is really just sort of an interim thing, we didn't really have the time to do a full cast, so this one will sound a little lower in quality (cause it is) and will be loud at some points. Our headsets kept doing funny things. Anywho, here you are!


Episode 3

Least and Most favorite moments
-Dying in Wow
-Heavy Rain

Random News
-RAGE
-Dead Island

Activision raging.

Dead Space2 fun

Random random random off topic hilarity

Marvel vs Capcom 3

The Like

:D

Dragon Age II Rise to Power



O Dragon age how I loathe the, with your uncanny ability to give the player the life changing decisions five minutes into the game. Oh how I enjoyed walking out of the first town only to realize that I had missed two party members that could not be reclaimed. It was as if Bioware came from the sky and backhanded me for not being the ever vigilant rpg junky that talks to every person in the town before leaving. It was as if they actually wanted to player to read all the script they spent years writing and not simply run through the game loping off the head of every man, monster and unsuspecting nun you saw. Well Bioware if you wanted me to waste my dull life on that you should have made it prettier.

Clearly some on in pc gaming must have been sleeping with the developers because it was simply better in every way on that platform. On the console Dragon Age Origins had spotty graphics, awkward sentence structures and dialogue options that caused your auto fit screen to widen. The overall inadequacy of facial animations was so bad and laggy at parts it actually made me wish for the day when characters talked telepathically and their lips didn’t move. Not to mention the seamless combat sequences that flowed about as well as 1950 stop motion film. I mean every fight felt so real with the constant pausing and cueing of single abilities was as if the gamer were playing on a disk that had been dragged over asphalt. The game pretty much had the feel that Bioware had half heartedly put out console version’s for this original game. Sort of like the degenerate step son you keep lock in the closet for fear he’d rip off your head in the night...what you never had one of those? So it is here that I will begin to warm my “Like Mass Effect But Not As Good” branding Iron and discuss what is new in this hastily created sequel.

A few of the more notable updates in this game are the character models, the combat platform and the skills upgrade system. The fighting has been amped up considerably with more fluid animations and combating sequences that have the feel of real time almost to the point of a hack and slash. Though, if you desire to pause and que your skills ONE at a time you can do that as well. Next, impact physics has finally been corrected in the game the game. You can finally say good bye to mister archer turning you in to a nice piece of slightly melted Swiss cheese with his flaming arrows as you beat him with a megaton hammer! Now people and characters actually move when hit, they stagger and even fall over with some crushing blows!


Some other good news is the skills system! No more will you have to suffer under the wretched regime of statically placed points in a linear bar graph esq tree. The new system is very much of the Dead Space and Final Fantasy Variety with trees that have six branches coming off from every which way that offer a variety of skills and perks so as to not rabbit hole you. Though, to be fair this is more like a rabbit hole with multiple rooms! You still have to pick your starting class which limits your set of skills. No matter how you dress it up if you pick a melee class you really on have two choices tank or hack and slash dps (physical skills only) but again its more than you had so be grateful after all this isn’t Mass Effect! I mean do you really want to see some magic wielding warriors around here that can sort of heal themselves or throw a fire ball. Nope that’s only Final Fantasy crap and we care too much about the story here at Bioware to hop on that band wagon of epic fails…I mean come on In-Media- Res poppy cock. (Insert developer’s grumble at a cheap way to cut out and important back story and plot to get to the action here)












Another great innovation made by this game is the Dialogue wheel. No more will your tv screen act like its in a horror film switching picture sizes as you switch between unbelievably long and awkward dialogue choices. They have taken the mass effect route and simply put the basic idea of the responses on the wheel. Thank god for that, if I wanted to read a short novel every time I talked to some one I would have played a jrpg. Plus…isn’t that what the voice actors are for? Which brings me to my next point, your hero will now be fully voiced by an actor. No more are you the strong silent type that depicts his choices and emotions with amazing clarity through only his stiff nod and shiver inducing stare.

Now some of you may be wondering with all these new bells and whistles you how does the old game play into this. Well in the spirit of trying to rip off as much as mass effect as they could Bioware has made it possible to import your data from Dragon Age Origins. Much like mass effect the choices you made in the previous game will go into shaping the world your playing in along with deciding some the familiar faces you see in game. So original I know but at least they are stealing from themselves and taking something worth using. Poor team ninja never quite got that concept….


So all in all Dragon Age II has had a major facelift both graphically and content wise. The combat has been smoothed out, the skill trees embellished, dialogue revamped and “replay ability added”. Not to mention a subtle push for you to go back and play the original half backed blue berry muffin they gave you to get a more in-depth experience…..clever bioware (IT’S A TRAP!). However one huge thing is still missing from this massive list of updates. Dragon Age II is still rumored to lack an auto save function. For games like this it is pretty much like saying that it’s a computer that lacks a back space or delete key. It is by all means possible to do what you have to do but it sure makes your life as frustrating as hell. I mean you already have a save option would it kill you to add auto save…I mean it’s like handing us a condom with the tip cut off. One moment were cruising along having the time of our lives and then we make one mistake…frantically look to see if we are covered…only to realize that once more Dragon Age has effectively boned us....

Without further adieu I brand this game with probably “LIKE MASS EFFECT BUT NOT AS GOOD”

P.S. For those of you who care about the validity of the story….its Bioware…good writing is a requirement.

The Elitist's Least Favorite Video Game Moments: Pikmin

Go forth, and conquer. Go forth.. and die.
Woa, this is random. Your friend is really stretching here; however when I think about this moment happening it never fails to make me really sad, and really mad. I become sad, mad; despondent and displeased; lugubrious and tumultuous; somber and... well you know.

The Outlaw's Favorite Game Moments: Brutal Legend DECAPITATIOOOOOON

*Thar be spoilarz*



Oh Tim Schafer, you ridiculous, wonderful man. Only you would think to make an entire video game based around a parody of all things metal. Whether it be actual stars of metal, like Ozzy or Lemmy, playing major roles, landmarks that are based on famous album covers, or a complete kick in the pants to emo/goth music, the game had it all. Even some stuff no one wanted like the unfitting RTS segments, or an ending that's a bit rushed. But i can look past that stuff, Timothy, because I love you and your Psychonauts-thinking-up brain. Besides, Brutal Legend is hilarious. And that's why I bring it up this morning.

While Jack Black isn't really my favorite anything, except in Tenacious D, this role was meant for him. He played the hell out of it and did it without making Eddie act like a loud buffoon. It was refreshing, it was charming, and it made me make with the laughings. Oh, also, Activision canned it before it came out and EA picked it up and saw it released. Bobby Kotick tried to sue for compensation and lost. So there's another plus. But on to my moment.

Despite the humor that permeates the adventure, Brutal Legend actually has a very sad plot point: The loss of Eddie's love-interest to the forces of evil, led by the dastardly Doviculus. (Don't worry, she comes back of course). But at the time it's really upsetting. This leads into a call-back to a moment from the game's incredibly awesome opening act when you flee a giant worm.


Widdly widdly waaaaah!

Okay, so that's pretty cool, but what about the moment I'm actually talking about. Well you see, at the end Eddie slays the demon and frees the land, but in one of the most epic ways ever, a wailing narration.


No comment

Not only does he sever Diviculus' head, but he then stomps and yells it off, finishing things up by ripping out TWO hearts. That my friends... it metal. Pure and simple.

Friday, February 18, 2011

New Rage Trailer Gives Us A Glimps Of The Wasteland


Rage is something I've been looking forward to for a while. Not just because I'm itching to play a new Id game, but due to the fact that I absolutely love post-apocalypticish/western games. That's why I loved New Vegas so much more than Fallout 3. Not to mention that it's looking absolutely amazing on the new Id-tech 5 engine. Mutants, firearms, remote controlled death: It's like they threw New Vegas, Mad Max, and Borderlands into a giant vat and made delicious goodness with it.


Western-style Sheriff. I'm sold.

Way to go Bethesda. You're publishing two great looking FPS's and developing the most wanted RPG of the year. Hope you're proud... try-hards.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Dead Island Comes Out Of Nowhere With An Amazing Trailer


As I was looking around the internet this morning to avoid looking over more Supreme Court cases I came across a trailer for a game that I had, up until now, never heard of before. It's called Dead Island and from what I understand, it's supposed to be like Left 4 Dead meets Dead Rising... with an open-world... and RPG elements. Needless to say I am excited. But beyond that, the trailer is pretty amazing.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Elitist's Favorite Video Game Moments: Heavy Rain

If
concentrated bad-ass-ery makes you sick or uncomfortable, you should just leave now. In the effort of serving our ever favorite Hilarity, we (the OandE) bought and played through Heavy Rain when it was released expecting to the just tease and tear the game apart. There is no way it is going to be any good, come one, an artsy game? Seriously.
We could not have been more wrong.
If you can find one thing about this clip that isn't competely and utterly awesome you let me know, because you may have broken one of the Three Laws of Looking Like a Complete and Total BAMF.

Minor spoilers.. sort of.


So yea. There ya go. Not really much one can say.
You can't really achieve any higher man status. I am assured that that only way this could have been any more awesome is if Shelby were riding a Tyrannosaurus Rex, and then at the end there was a slo-mo shot of the mansion exploding, as Shelby walked away. Also, he would have to be wearing a monocle the entire time.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Outlaw's Least Favorite Game Moments: Dying in WoW

Death. It's something we all have to face eventually. We fear it because we don't know what lies beyond the mortal realm. It could be a place of infinite paradise. It could hold unspeakable horrors for those of us who find evil to be a valid past-time. We might all come back as ghosts, or not at all. But one thing is for certain; it kind of sucks.

Also, in real life, death will never be as epic as this:


Bees... My God...

This is not always the case in video games. Sure, in some cases death might hold dire consequences. You might have to start the stage over again, or even worse, watch a minute long death sequence *cough*Too Human*cough*. But, in games death is never permanent. It allows us to throw caution to the wind and do things we would never do if the Grim Reaper were lurking nearby... probably eating a sandwich he would soon have to clean off the floor. That freedom doesn't always take a good form, however, and in one particular case it even convinced me to quit the game. I am, of course, talking about WoW. While I doubt it possible that anyone reading this hasn't even dabbled in the biggest MMO of all time, I shall explain anyway in the form of an anecdote.

They could have at least made the death world more enjoyable to look at.

I only played WoW for about a month and a half. I started a character on a server full of my friends that were all nearly level 80 and because I was a nub I was expected to quest on my own. I'm not going to say that defeats the purpose of playing an MMO... but it completely defeats the purpose of playing an MMO. I would ask for help because I didn't want to take on a full cave of baddies and I would usually receive none. "Do it yourself," they would all say. "That's how we did it!" Sure, they would occasionally take time out of their busy schedules to assist me, but it was often done begrudgingly. I honestly can't wait to see what kind of parents they will be, but I digress. The point is, I was often forced to fight against overwhelming odds all on my lonesome with nothing to protect my squishy parts but a cloth robe. This resulted in death; lots and lots of death. If WoW worked like most games where I could just restart at a checkpoint it would have been fine, but this is an MMO we're talking about. Instead, you have two choices. One, resurrect in a graveyard, which you are penalized for, or two, run your stupid ass all the way back to your body and fill that bag of bones full of life once again.

Being the person that I am, I will do anything to avoid taking penalties. Thus, with every death I found myself running another official Bi-minutely Azeroth Marathon, and it was fucking miserable. Imagine running back to your body every two minutes to only have to do everything in your power to flee the enemy ridden scene before you have to do it all over again. And you will do it all over again... and again... and again... and again. It got to the point where I was just about to make the paladin cry when another friend of mine on another server asked me to start a new character with him. I did. For a while it was bliss. We journeyed the land leveling up and killing all sorts of mythical creatures. We insulted jerks and even sang "Don't Stop Believing" with a random passer-by. I was enjoying myself... and then it happened. "Hey, Chris, I'm going to be really busy for a while. I want you to level up without me." That was the final straw. I signed off and never again did I return. I'll never go back either. Ever.



EVER!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, February 14, 2011

The Scariest Rumor EVER!

Before you read this I want you to take a deep breath and relax. Tell yourself that this is only a rumor and so far has not been confirmed. Repeat this to yourself several times. Now, I don't want to freak you out or anything, dear reader, but a senior games executive has apparently told MCV that "there are very strong rumors amongst people at a very senior level within the global business" that Activision is taking interest in acquiring publisher Take-Two.


If the name of that company sounds familiar it's because they are the ones who publish FREAKING GRAND THEFT AUTO! If Activision does go through with this they will attain the publishing rights to Grand Theft Auto as well. In light of their recent business practices, we should all be a little concerned. After all, this is the same company that ran several great series into the ground while also letting great games, like Singularity, fail.

As I said before, none of this is confirmed. However, it might be a good idea to get on your knees and pray to whatever god you believe in. This could be bad...

Halo Reach Defiant Map Pack

Oh boy oh boy oh boy, do we love us some Halo. The Noble map pack came out just in time to re-spark the multiplayer love, and just as I was starting to get used to the beautiful new maps from Noble, Bungie does what they do best which is making me love them more. The Defiant Map Pack will include two new "big maps" (suitable for big team battle and the like) and one new Firefight map. The pack will also come with new achievements (which can add 150G for you achievement whores).  It will be available in march for 800 points (10 bucks). Soooooo a lot of this we knew, but now we have officially released screen shots and video! Enjoy, baby birds! 


These map pack videos are always so cheesy...



Scccrreeeeennnnshhoooootttssss!!!!

The Elitist: The Very Embodiment of High Society

“Ah yes, my life story,” begins The Elitist, taking a small sip from a glass of the finest brandy. “Your sort is always asking about that. ‘Just how powerful are you? How did you get to where you are now?’ Blah, blah, blah. Your proletarian curiosity is so incredibly dull. I shall, however, indulge you this once. I’m in a favourable mood.”

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day... From Valve


As I have been in a relationship for the past three Valentine's Days only to be single on this one, I was planning on doing nothing but staying inside and drinking until I forgot which day it was. Not that that's different from most days (har har). Hey, I'm not an alcoholic I'm a college student.

Too be honest, though, neither my past significant others or myself have ever really cared for the holiday. I never really understood the idea that we should show extra conditional love only one day out of the year. Plus, it's a holiday created by greeting card companies and blah blah blah. Anyway, Valve has once again managed to make my cynical mind see things a little differently, at least for a little while, in the form of a really cute Valentine's Day video.


This Valentine's Day, give the gift every woman desires: GIANT BEES!

While the video itself even admits to being an advertisement for pre-ordering Portal 2, it's still really clever. If anything, I hope it cheers the rest of you singles up. For those of you who are taken, maybe it'll make the day even better. Happy Valentine's Day from the O and E team.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Elder Scrolls V Screenshots!

Woot! Our first screenshot article! OK, so screenshots are not that exciting, but this is Elder Scrolls we're talking about. This is the game that has every single O and E writer excited. Not just because we love the series, but because we're very interested to see how the next one is different from the others. I mean, let us be completely honest with each other, many of the character models in Oblivion looked like playdoh models of people with down-syndrome. While you can look to the previous article to see a discussion over gameplay, it is here you can take a look at some shiny pictures. Hell, you could even read both articles at once and it would be like reading a story with pictures :-D. But not really. Take a gander!

No joke here, but does this indicate duel-wielding magic and weapons!?


New and improved bar wenches!




To quote Talkradar UK, "Skyrim! Men in the sky! Big men with beards!"


Look! A majestic creature! Let's kill it!




Here we see some stuff.


Monsters! :-0

So there you have it. Now the waiting begins....









... Still waiting....

Elder Scroll V Skyrim (What Bethseda is doing so right)


Elder Scrolls…the vast seemingly limitless world of middle earth proportions. Where around every corner of this world there is either cult of dark worshipers or an adorable kitten waiting to be slaughtered by your giant glowing sword of doom, darkness and rainbows. (Hey I like rainbows…specially the double ones!) The game’s bread and butter is without a doubt it’s openness, breathtaking randomness and alternate quest lines. Which, to those of you that like to comprehend the story is about as clear and well developed as a 2 year old trying to explain to you why he has a quarter lodged in his inner ear. Overall the game is a wonderful free roamer that let’s the player create his own destiny and do pretty much anything he wants too. The guiding force for the game as far as storyline is concerned is “don’t go where things insta kill you…kind of like when a rouge ends you in WoW or when you get cannon rushed for those starcraft players in the bunch. *grumble grumble*…dam Protoss. Well my fellow adventures now that I have described the old let us now move into the future!

Que Cinematic Prepare to Commence AWWW!


Elder Scrolls V Skyrim is simply breathtaking…*cough* in comparison to its predecessor *cough*. The Bethseda team finally upgraded their game engine and the results speak for themselves. I mean I can finally tell what gender the NPC is that I am talking too and look look the grass sways in the wind! The drunks are even peeing on the side of the pub! O.O OMG finally Elder Scrolls has caught up with the times. The games graphics finally reached the same level as first gen games of the xbox 360 that came out a couple years ago... Ok I might be exaggerating a wee bit but you have to admit the blocky, bland and just overall aesthetically distasteful presentation of the scenery and characters was a bit of an eye soar in Oblivion…though the game play more than made up for it.

Pressing on the next great ”innovation” by Bethseda is the new skills system. Unlike the previous game this new one no longer takes the approach used by most communist nations of assigning you a job a birth! Instead of deciding what you skills and perks will be in character creation, you get to actually hone your skill and acquire perks based on you style of fighting and training. This system is pretty much the same one used in Fallout and as the saying goes if it aint broke why fix it? Also, it has been stated that the quest will also be tailored to your specific skill set. Lastly I have a bit of sad news. This last tweak that was confirmed in the game actually makes me very sad. Instead of having the earlier mentioned method of quest guidance that I like to call the “Land Mine System.” Bethseda has opted for a scaling difficulty model where your enemies get stronger as you level. Thus opening the world further to the player’s whims by allowing you to do any quest line at any time. So I am sorry all you grinder’s out there who like to do go out into the wilderness and level yourself to Kratos status before you even lift a finger on any quest line, your are shit out of luck. The days of you being able to walk into a town and simply sneeze to wipe it off the map are but over. *cry cry* I use to love piling a mountain of guard corpses on the temple steps.

Overall though I am personally very excited to see this new installment in this very prestigious series. The tweaks are more than enough to draw me back to this series after I left it so very very very long ago…To be honest though they had me at dragons. I mean come on there are FREAKING DRAGONS in this one. I mean there is nothing more awesome than dragons…well besides a double rainbow. ^^

PS: Did you find the Pineapple? (Yes I know it was easy!)

New XBLA Zombie Survial Game. Zombies Zombies Zombies!

We love us some Zombie games. Always have, and I'm pretty sure we always will. Microsoft Game Studios and Undead Labs are joining forces to create an online Zombie survival game. The game, currently labeled Class3 is going to be quite a challenge for the developers. They have huge visions, and they want this game too be more than a simple online run and gun.

This XBLA project is going to push the limits and change the way we think about an online game. The producers don't want this to be your typical kill this, get this go here, do this; they have ideas much bigger than that. In the developers blog, he goes on to say that this is going to be an online world unlike one we have seen before. It will be an evolving, changing world triggered by events players initiate. Your goal isn't to be the one who kills the most, but the one who survives. Whether you decide to survive on your own, have a small band of friends, or create an army to fight off the living dead, the goal is to live. Class3, apparently is going to be something the devs use really gauge our feedback as gamers, perfect whats wrong, and then create what the developer calls Class4. They really have huge ideas for this game, and if they can pull it off, it should be epic, go check out the dev site, and read it for your self.

Personally, this game could suck hard: because they didn't quite meet the goals they wanted, it could be awesome: because they do achieve their grand ideas, or its too grandiose, and it dies before we see it. I'm hopeful, this should be fun to keep an eye on. What do you think?

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