Bulletstorm Review

The second I saw the first trailer for Bulletstorm I thought to myself, "wow, this looks different." And how could I not. With a majority of shooters taking a realistic (and frankly, an increasingly boring) approach, it was nice to see something different. But, could it live up to my expectations? The simple answer is YES! DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN YES!

The game puts you in the boots of a rogue assassin named Grayson. He and his band of soldiers used to work for a general in charge of a government known as the Confederacy. Once they find out that they have been used to kill civilians, they decide to leave and cause trouble whenever they can. When the opportunity to attack their old leader comes up, Grayson takes it, and this is where the story begins. I'm sorry, the game actually begins when Grayson and a fellow teammate interrogate a captured bounty hunter... drunk. And if that doesn't set the tone I don't know what does.

Dick-killing is imminent

That's actually my first point. The game is over-the-top and hilarious and I loved every minute of it. Sure, a lot of the humor comes from yelling phrases such as, "I'LL KILL YOUR DICK!" However, in context it's actually pretty terrific. At the same time, it still feels like many occurrences of vulgarity are in character. Thus, it all works... you motherfuckers. Trust me, the game is hysterical. There is a particular moment that involves giving a name, posthumously, to a mechanical Godzilla-like, laser shooting monster that had me laughing for about 2 minutes straight.

There's also a row-but man.

"But is the campaign deep, Chris," you ask. Actually... yeah. It's plenty deep. You are, over time, given access to several different weapons. All of these weapons have an alternate charge shots that are awesome. The pistol has one of my favorites. It has a round that basically acts like fireworks. It plants itself in an enemy and launches them around until they explode, possibly taking others with him. The primary shots are awesome as well. Very few things in other games beat wrapping someone in an explosive chain and then kicking them into a group of mutant-gang members.

Also, monster.

This is where the point system comes in. There are myriads and myriads of ways to destroy, maim, and kill your enemies. Giant cacti, man-eating plants, kicking mutants into a lighting storm, it's all there. And performing these specific kills gives you a set amount of points based on the type of kill. It's an incredibly deep system that comes with it's own menu of moves, which tells you the stipulations, how much they are worth, if you've performed them before, and if they are still locked. With this tool at your disposal, your goal is to try to rack up as many points as possible by combing killing methods. To say that performing huge combos is satisfying would be the understatement of the year. It doesn't stop there either. The game even EXPLAINS why there are points. When you get your lasso of death at the beginning, it goes through a sort of attachment process with you. It connects to the Confederate mainframe that monitors the performance of soldiers. The best soldiers are sent points based on the kills they perform, which they can spend on ammo, weapons, upgrades, and charge shots. Naturally, being in possession of the lasso, you now have access to all of this. Personally, that was going above and beyond for me. The game is so ridiculous I didn't expect any explanation of anything. I didn't think there was any reason for having the lasso other than "HOLY SHIT THIS IS AWESOME," but there is and I deeply appreciate it. PICTURED: ONE OF THE HUNDREDS OF WAYS TO KILL PEOPLE.

The tone, action, humor, and over-all ridiculousity all combine to make one of the freshest games I've seen in a long damn time. Some might find it all juvenile, but you have to look beyond that. You have to put yourself in the mindset that the game doesn't take itself seriously, while at the same time executing (no pun intended) everything perfectly. That's why I bestow Bulletstorm a first in scores I have given out.

10 out of 10.