We Dare (JESUS NOOOO!)

Nintendo how far you have fallen…do you remember the days when you were THE giant of the video game industry, had a respectable consul and numerous titles that defined gaming as a whole. Well my dear Nintendo developers We Dare is defiantly not a step in the right direction. (More like a leap off the empire state building) However, it is unfair of me to mercilessly shred this helpless title before even explaining it so I shall… with a heavy heart and drooping spirit attempt to report on Nintendo grotesque, inbred, ginger stepchild of a game.

So “We Dare” is by definition a slightly erotic wii party game…yes you heard me correct. … Nintendo has successfully alienated its entire target audience…. The idea of the game is to use the wii motion controls to put people in compromising positions… such as spanking a naughty school girl or doing a hot strip tease for a lover, all the while putting on an hilarious show for those around. The game is suppose to be marketed to adults as a sex and party game of sorts. Though upon ESRB’s review of the game it is given an ages 12+ sticker…wow….so much for “erotic party game.” Nintendo this is an utter fail in all walks of life… and nearly every marketing scheme. If you were trying to create an adult, sexually enticing game then 12+ sticker ESRB nailed to your cerebral lobe shows that you really are a bunch of 40 year old virgins that have no idea what normal people call erotic. I mean apparently your version of a sexually enticing party is pokemon themed plates with Ash and Misty on them. (my heart still skips a beat when I see that red and white cap at the store….)because I am pretty sure that’s about all the action any 12 year old would get.

Now if you were following in the footsteps of all the other wii titles and trying to create a family oriented…erotic game…you know for the back woods Arkansas folks that do their sisters, then you failed here as well. I mean your trailer says it all…you marketed this game as if it were Dirty minds…but a more hands on version (poke poke…I like to poke) ;).

Which, to most parents might as well say “This game teaches you to worship the devil.” So I don’t see the all American family dropping buy the store to pick this title up for a family fun night!...unless little Jenny is statistically going to end up a stripper…but that’s another story. The only possible market you could have for this game is college girls who might use it as a novelty at a party. You know something to just laugh at as they drink themselves silly off Schmirnoff. Now Nintendo this is a very narrow target audience I mean girls already make up a smaller portion of the gaming community (probably do to our short attention spans and need to be talking) and while a majority of them have a wii….not many of them play the wii with their friends…so you’re looking at a pretty minimal return to catastrophic loss on this game. In closing all you little Nintendo fan boys break out your handkerchiefs and dab the last of tears from your eyes as you watch your beloved franchise crumble to the ground. Maybe the DS3 will save you….maybe…