The Elitist's Least Favorite Video Game Moments: Animal Crossing

Hey guys n’ gals. First and foremost I want to apologize for being so out of touch lately. Chris was sick, and he is without Internet(ish). I have been traveling and school-ing, and we just haven't found the time to get back into the swing of the blog thing. We do promise to come back with vigor now that Spring Break is over.
Since, our friend The Outlaw was sickly (he has been infected with Uruboros, but since his Outlaw like white blood cells are also drunk and awesome, they have been fighting it off as best they can, giving Chris only mild fluish symptoms). We decided to just skip last week. So now we shall begin anew! Hope everyone had an excellent spring break!

We all know the feeling. We have all been there, and we all understand.This is a story that represents the American Dream better than grandma's cookies, apple pie, baseball, and the stock market. Take a trip down memory lane with me. You are young, a naive boy/girl with nothing but excitement and the lust for adventure. You decide its time to move on, and you leave your parent's home, you get on that train and never look back. You would think, that the first time you met the talking blue cat with the giant head, you would reconsider moving the the town ravaged by nuclear radiation that now has created an entire town of freaky animal people. Once that cat makes the mistake at your gender, and you see what you have become during the train ride, you realize that the radiation has already taken its toll on your body. Oh well, Carpe diem!!

I know the feeling, Tom.

You arrive to [town name] with high hopes and big dreams! You soon remember that you were so ready to dive right into the irradiated cesspool of urban living, that you don’t have a place to live! 
Oh noooo!
No matter. Luckily for you, loan sharks still exist even in creepily happy animal worlds.

If you will recall, Tom Nook was the local shop owner. He meets you after your train ride, and tells you he has just the house for you. It’s drab, wretched, small, infested, empty, ugly, cramped, smelly, dark, dank, horrid, putrid, and rather quaint. Oh, it’s also cheap. Even a low life like you could afford it, remember? Ohhhh that’s right, being young and apparently unaware at how the world works, you don’t bring ANY FREAKING MONEY.


Well, Tom Nook is a crafty devil, and he has the solution for you. Simply work for him, to pay your mortgage. Noooo problem.....

Don't screw with me Nook...

Tom: Well, you have worked for several days, and you are no where NEAR coming close to paying for your mortgage, but you can go.


Me: . . .


Tom: You are just going to have to pay off the rest on your own! Don’t worry, you can do favors for people around town, or pick fruits to make some extra money!


Me: . . .


Tom: So, get going! Remember now, whenever you pay off your first debt, I can always renovate your home, and put you into greater debt!


Me: . . .


Tom: Kid, you are creepy as shit, get out of my store.

I know who you really are....

So now began the vicious cycle of capitalism working the dream, and the wallet, of all blue collar Americans. Except, in that case, Americans have jobs and can actually work to pay off their debt. This is a new world, with new rules. No one has jobs... we scavenge for our stuff remember?
So we fish and plant fruit, and sell the fish and sell the fruit. We do favors for our neighbors so they can give us worthless crap that hardly sells, and we wake up at 8am on Sunday morning to meet the turnip lady in the hopes that Tom Nook will buy them at a high price sometime during the week. All of this, to pay off the debt you made with Nook.



So you finally have done it! you have fished up the entire rivers, harvested every tree and done so much for your neighbors they have all decided its time to move on and see the world (don’t worry, they are always replaced by some other freaky animal with a cookie cutter personalities)

I MUST HAVE ROOM FOR STUPID THINGS!

So what does your jobless broke ass decide to do after paying off your house? You renovate! Yay look at all the space I have now! Whats the bill there ‘ol Nook, I know you will cut me a-

WHAT?!!?! I have to pay 3 times as much for an expansion that didn't even double the size of my house?? This sucks... but I’ll do it.

Don’t you worry, I’ll do it three more times Nook, because I am obviously in love with being in debt.


I JUST CAN’T STOP!!!


Commentary on the economy by Stephen “The Elitist” Dickson