Vanquish Review

What would you get if your crossed Pete Townsend's power-slide, rocket boots, guns, giant robots, and Japan? Most likely, something that needs to be killed with fire, but for the sake of this review the answer is Vanquish. I played the demo a while back and while I thought it was fun I saw the potential for it to get boring. Lord Almighty do I need to be punched in the face for thinking that and I'm a gunna tell you why.

First off, this little hidden gem was made by Platinum Games, which means it's over the top and it damn well knows it. The game centers around the suit your, purposefully cliched, character wears. It gives him the ability to slide across floors at high speeds, punch the crap out of robots, increase his reaction time (bullet time), as well as be monitored by his overly attractive female partner. The story is also a little ridiculous in that your fighting Russians in space who use robots, as opposed to humans like us Americans do. There's a bunch of crap about a conspiracy and blah blah blah YOU HAVE ROCKET BOOTS, MUTHAFUCKA!!!! *Ahem* sorry, that happens sometimes. The thing is the story isn't all that great and I'll talk about it later.Hoooooolyyyy Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!

Anyway, as for the suit, it pretty much does all the things I stated earlier and it never gets old. Sliding through a gauntlet of machines while some of the best bullet time effects I've ever seen surround you never ceases to be amazing. In fact, doing it in real time never gets old either. Hell, even using melee on them is satisfying and awesome. Unfortunately, you won't be doing that very often because your suit overheats after just one melee attack, and that is actually one of the few problems I had with the game. It seems like the game really wants you to use the guns most often. This is fine, but I really like kicking robots in the face. I have my reasons... *looks to the horizon and squints*.

Falcon Punch!!!! Oops... wrong game.

Speaking of the guns, you have your basic set; assault rifle, machine gun, shotgun, grenades, sniper rifle, rocket launcher etc. Oh, also, there is a gun that shoots homing lasers and one that shoots a giant energy blast. No big deal. You can upgrade these weapons with upgrade cubes you find, but each upgrade I used seemed to be more related to clip size or ammo amount. Something I was honestly disappointed with. Not enough to be mad, though. I was having way too much fun.

Another thing that struck me was the game continuously threw new, bigger enemies at me. And once I got used to fighting them one at a time, it sent a few more my way at once. It kept the game feeling fresh and interesting. The game also uses quick-time events, which I usually dislike, but Platinum games seems to have studied at the God of War school of quick-times events, in that they are ridiculous and satisfying. Throwing missiles back, punching a giant robot in the face at stupid speeds, DRILLING AN EFFING HOLE IN A ROBOT WITH YOUR BODY, it's all there and it's all fun. Also, there's a smoke button. It makes you smoke. You can use the butt to distract enemies, but who cares. You can smoke.

I know I dismissed the story earlier, but the thing is I can never really ignore that. It's not bad, it just doesn't end on a satisfying note. I don't have a problem with the characters being over the top and cliched, that is the point, but they don't fit in with the story if it doesn't mirror that back. Sure it's got it's hokey elements, but a ridiculous story needs a ridiculous ending with one liners, but it doesn't even have a conclusion. Nothing is resolved. It really bugged me.

I shouldn't complain, though. Sure, the resolution left me wanting and the upgrades seemed unnecessary, but the game was some of the most fun I have had from beginning to end. The combat is never slow and always fun, and just getting around calls for an endless loop of Roger Daltrey's scream from Don't Get Fooled Again playing (that's two Who references in one review for those of you who are counting). Along with this and Enslaved, Fall of 2010 is sure looking like a great month for sleeper hits.

9 out of 10 happy fun-times.