The Outlaw's Least Favorite Game Moments: Dragon Age Origins Credits

As I sat in my room all day taking refuge from an arctic storm thinking about how I could top my last feature, I realized I couldn't. Much like my self-esteem, my writing has peaked too early setting forth a future of disappointments and lost-causes. Once again, the window to my life has been left open a little too wide, so let's get on with it.

I can understand that "epic", and I use the term very loosely in this case, music can really make a great ending all the better. That seemed to at least be the idea behind using a 30 Seconds to Mars song in the credits to Dragon Age. However, and pardon my French, it was a stupid fucking idea. And guess what?! I'm going to tell you why. But first, prepare yourself for awful, because it's headed straight for your ear-holes.


Easy buddy. We don't wanna excite EVERY stray dog in the area.

While I will discuss why the use of the song doesn't work in a moment, I wanna make fun of the band for a while. I had honestly never heard one of their songs before this one, and luckily for me, I have yet to hear another. Sure, you might be angry at me for trashing a band when I've only heard one of their songs, but I don't have to read an entire Twilight book to know they are absolute garbage. And no, I'm not calling 30 Seconds to Mars the musical equivalent of Twilight. That right is reserved for Justin Bieber and the like. However, at least in this song, the singer seems hell-bent on making noises similar to the ones I made during my several bouts with kidney stones. To be blunt, he sounds much like how my father describes a girlfriend I had in middle school, "bitchy."

But now on to why the song doesn't fit. If you've played Dragon Age, you would know that the entire soundtrack is made up of medieval era sounding ballads and such. So when the ending happens and the screen fades, the last thing you would expect to hear is a pop song. But... it's there. And now you have to deal with it. That isn't even the biggest problem. The thing is, the song sounds like one to glorify a hero who fights to save his world and loved ones... but you don't have to play the game that way. You can play like a massive asshole, which ends in several groups of people probably wishing they were killed by Darkspawn. So it doesn't make sense to have that kind of ending met with a song such as "War" (that's what the song is called). Apparently something similar happened with Mass Effect 1, but I don't remember it. I looked up the song and my guess is it's a repressed memory. I think I have a lot of those.