Gears of War 3 Review

 The reason this is late is because this was supposed to be a joint review. Unfortunately, stuff. Yes, that is the official explanation. Anyway, I have taken it upon myself to do everything, because why the hell not. Let's start with the campaign, shall we?

Oh, the campaign. What an exciting romp through gore a drama. Before you begin this endeavor I would suggest you crank the difficulty up. Normal is, by and large, too easy. Your AI partners will do all the work for you while you sit back and sip iced tea, or whatever it is you do. I sip scotch because I have a problem. Anyway, once you take on the challenge of a higher difficulty you are mostly guaranteed to have fun. Lancers, gnashers; all the old amazing guns are there for you, along with new additions such as the sawn-off shotgun and retro lancer (among others). If you've played Gears before you know what to expect. It's messy, it's tight, and it's full of chest-high walls. The addition of 4-player co-op can only add to your experience and the lambent only add a new kind of challenge. In short, I enjoyed it immensely.

"braaaAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

The story itself comes to a decent concision. It answered a question I never thought I had  to ask while ignoring one I have had since the beginning. Some characters meet an expected fate while others... well, actually it's kind of predictable. But I refuse to spoil anything. The script is fantastic and a particular moment where you assume control of Cole Train is kind of amazing. But I know you. You don't play Gears for the story alone. I merely suggesting that the actual plot tends to be entertaining from time to time.

But what of multiplayer? Admittedly, I didn't play a lot of Gears 2 online. In fact, I wouldn't have at all if it weren't for my blogmates. My experience in 2 was a practice in frustration. "What's the point of shooting if he can just roll away," I asked. Well, the retro lancer fixed that problem for me. The impressive thing, in my mind, is that this solution was one that suited me and others like me. Fans of the old weapons have stuck to their guns, so to speak, and are still highly effective. Epic has managed to add new weapons that are more conducive to other styles of play without destroying the effectiveness of people who are fans of the old weapons. I can respect that, even as a relative new-comer to online gears.

Just stay away from anyone who has one of these.

My true love, however, is Horde 2.0. I couldn't tell you how many hours I've already sunk into that mode of gameplay. The increasing difficulty, the raising of money to build fortifications, decoys, silverbacks,  and turrets, the adrenaline rush of boss fights; I simply cannot get enough, I have just purchased 4 Disney movies and I plan on getting the Team Ico Collection tonight and I still have every intention of getting a round of Horde in before I go to bed. It is the absolute test of teamwork, and it works. While a bad team will absolutely destroy your experience (I'm looking at you people who quit after the first boss wave) a good team will make you want to play until things are absolutely hopeless. It has become a drug of sorts, and I have actually no qualms about being addicted.

Warning: Results comparable to that of cocaine.

This brings us to Beast Mode. As much as I like it, it almost represents a lost potential. The objective is basically a reverse of Horde, in that you play as the locusts attacking a group of AI humans with increasing fortifications. It's fun, especially once you progress far enough and earn enough money to play as incredibly strong units (a freaking berserker). The issue for me is that it becomes too easy and a game will not last nearly as long as Horde. What I meant by "lost potential" is that they could have easily taken a page out of Valve's Left 4 Dead book and made Beast Mode, or at least another mode, a PvP sort of thing. Imagine one team of players having to hold off the locusts and keep them from earning new units while the locust do their best to break through the defenses. You know you want that. I mean, who wouldn't? Probably communists... or vegans. Or communist vegans! My word, this has devolved.

As long as we have bacon, we have hope.

All of this adds up to Gears 3 being (arguably) the best in the series. Yes, some things went unanswered and the lag online is kind of awful at times, but there are so many fun games modes built off such a solid foundation that it begs to be critically acclaimed. It's not worth missing.

10 out of 10