New Writers Are Cool! (They Mean Less Work for me!!)

And Just for you! You get a crappily shopped picture!

Hey kiddos, as you may (or may not) have already noticed, there is a rather hilarious and well written article posted by an individual who calls herself Departed

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The Passing of Greatness: Guitar Hero. JUST KIDDING!!!

No but seriously, its done.  

Today, we are gathered, not to mourn the loss of wonderful franchise. A franchise that, while it did spew novelty from all corners of its money sapping box upon its initial release, might have been beaten dead. A franchise that soon *was* beaten, until dead, and then brought back to life as a crappier version, beaten dead again revived, hanged, and is now finally being buried. It is sad that moms all over the world are no longer able to pour hundreds of dollars into low quality plastic peripherals for there 26 year old son who as already played this game 5 times, so that he can be the best on the new hardest song. You have to get it for him! If you don't, then he won't be able to go to his local GameStop and play Dragonforce on the interactive and impress everyone with his ANNOYING CLICKING. No, we shall not mourn this, instead... yes... instead we will celebrate.

BECAUSE GUITAR HERO IS FREAKIN DEAD!!!!!!!!!!

Holy CRAP it's about time! I mean seriously Activision. Yea, I'll admit, Guitar Hero was cool, until about.. GH2. Then I realized I had played this game, and now I am paying $70 for some new songs. The band idea was cool too, too bad Rock Band did it first Activision! I am not going to buy another "drum set" just because yours has cymbals. They. Are. Not. Real. Cymbals.
Oh right, you might not know what I'm talking about. I'm sorry I just got so caught up in the moment!!
Some amount of days ago (professional huh?) Activision announced they were axing the franchise. Saying stuff like:

"Despite a remarkable 92 rating on DJ Hero 2, a widely well-regarded Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock, as well as a 90-plus rated release from our most direct competitor [Rock Band 3], demand for peripheral-based music games declined at a dramatic pace. Given the considerable licensing and manufacturing costs associated with this genre, we simply cannot make these games profitable based on current economics and demand. Instead, what we'll do is focus our time and energies on marketing and supporting our strong catalog of titles and downloadable content, especially to new consumers as the installed base for hardware continues to grow."
-Publishing CEO Eric Hirshberg

This was about when it needed to end...

Which, essentially, means: Yea, those things were cool, and you chumps thought it was cool for a long time, and we milked you sorry saps for millions of dollars, but now it seems like we just have all these boxes lying around. So we are gonna stop now. Maybe we shouldn't have rammed this down your throat so much (teehee) Oh well, don't worry, we still plan to pump out DLC so keep your credit cards trained on XBLA!!

So there ya have it. It's been fun GH. Well, it was fun. About 4 years ago it was fun. Then you really just became that giant block of cardboard I had to walk around every time I walked into a video store. Sorry kid who plays GH in stores and thinks that makes him a bad ass, you are just going to have to find another way to piss of all the normal people. Try Tony Hawk Ride. I hear it's awesome. (lol)

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The Elitist's Least Favorite Video Game Moments: Condemned 2

So, in the world there are four things that I love: Rum&Coke, video games, women, and Flaming Hot Cheetos (in order of edibility). There are also 4 things I hate: Kobe Bryant, games that steal your soul (because they are just that bad), Coke minus Rum, and crazy women (in order of likeliness to "sexually assault" you), and Condemned 2 has on of the craziest women out there...

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My Two Cents On How Games Have Changed

Hey guys!

To answer your questions, yes I am still alive. Through a combination of laziness, business, and me revelling in my newfound super powers (the incredible ability to purchase booze), I've found myself finding excuses not to write, but that's going to change now.

But now onto the meat of the issue.

As I’ve been playing games for the last month or so; games I bought myself, as well as games I got for Christmas, and through some online discussion, an interesting question has been rolling around in my head: what exactly is the most important aspect of a game these days?

At first, this seems to be a stupid question with a simple answer: the gameplay, duh. But really think about this for a second. Since the advent of the PSOne, the actual layout of the game controller as we know it has changed extremely little. Yes, there’s motion control, but I think we all agree that motion control has not been utilized to the best that it could be. Now, the actual mechanics of the average game has changed over the course of the last decade, to say otherwise would be foolishly ignorant.

But it would also be foolish to say that games haven’t, in many ways, remained much the same over the last decade. First person shooters made today have many of the exact same mechanics and button layouts as games made in 2002. Action-adventure games are still playing follow the leader to games like God of War and Devil May Cry. Note that this is not a bad thing. You’ve got games like Darksiders, which while a blatant God of War/Legend of Zelda ripoff, still manages to be quite a bit of fun to play, but on the other hand, you’ve got games like Dante’s Inferno, which is also a relatively transparent God of War stand-in. Yet one is entertaining, and the other… well, let’s just say I enjoy the 300 page poem quite a bit more.

Plus, the game has an achievement for killing unbaptized babies. That’s just so ridiculous that I can’t take anything else about the game seriously. Especially Satan’s 15 inch cock. That has its own jiggle physics engine.

NSFW

Think about something: it’s subzero down there. And he’s still slinging Mr. Little Devil around like shrinkage ain’t no thing. Yikes.

Why is all this important? Because what I’ve come to realize is that what is important in games today has changed. Chiefly in that elements like story, setting, atmosphere, and music have become much more prevalent in people’s assessment of whether or not they enjoy the games they play. For example, take a game like Mass Effect 2. The gameplay, when you get right down to it, is a third person shooter with subtle RPG elements added to it. Both are excellently implemented, but think about something. When discussing Mass Effect, what is the primary element you hear people praising? The incredible story, the characters that seem to be real people that you’re interacting with, and how the game allows you to transport yourself into the universe of Mass Effect. Hell, the most recognizable aspect of gameplay is the dialogue wheel.

Well, that and punching women.

What all this means to me is that what is important in video games has shifted over time. It used to be that games could get away with almost a total lack of story, no real characters aside from some vague villain with no real motivations other than to piss the hero off, a hero who doesn’t have any backstory, and perhaps some female interest you have to save and see for like three seconds during the game. Some games made this setup work, and led the path for games since then to follow, like the Mario games, while some (like Ghosts and Goblins) did not. With simple setups like this, the quality of the actual gameplay was the only real motivating factor. Mario had good gameplay, G&G had broken platforming, and bastard hard unfair enemies.

Nowadays, you’ve got games like the Silent Hill series, which the fans of which will freely acknowledge have terrible camera controls and combat, but still love the series for its unequaled scare power, and the engrossing atmosphere, or Shadows of the Colossus, which has a frustratingly clumsy protagonist who’s not very good with his sword, and is prone to stumbling around just when you need him not to. Yet the game is recognized as a masterpiece of minimalist storytelling, and has truly amazing music. Graphics and story are now just as interchangably used as points to indicate the quality of a game as the controls and gameplay are.

Now, I’d be an idiot to claim that a game can’t have both incredible gameplay and an incredible story with engrossing atmosphere (see Red Dead Redemption), but what I think is that developers of games, as well as the media (and not just the gaming media) have to recognize that games are growing up faster than we anticipated. While they are not recognized as being in the same context as movies, I think and hope that someday they will, because to my mind, there’s no reason why they shouldn’t be. When film was first being utilized as a form of entertainment, it was many years before people recognized that film could be used as a form of art equally as valid as literature.

And while I don’t think video games and film will ever be truly the same form of art, I frankly don’t think they should be. After all, film is not equal to literature, and literature is not equal to sculpting or painting. What I do think that this is indicative of, however, is that games have started growing up in a very serious way, and that with this maturity has come a new way in which games must be created and judged, which is that sort of intangible level of “atmosphere” that a game has.

Oh, and speaking of maturity in games, be sure to check out Stephen’s article over the new LA Noire trailer; it is really cool looking!

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Blizzard Why do you Torment Me (Diablo 3)

Oh Blizzard you unstoppable colossus of gaming innovation and excellence you. Why do you torment us so with pushed back release dates, April’s fool jokes and decade long waits between sequels?…Oh yes I remember now because your simply the best at what you do and what you do is create absolutely immaculate games. Sadly Diablo 3 will be no exception to this long standing tradition of standing up your loyal fans as they wait for you at the restaurant…(much like every guy I have ever met). However, unlike them you, darling, are always worth the wait. Even if you show up long after the restaurant has closed perhaps even shut down after a three year depression you can be assured that we…the loyal and somewhat groupie esque fans we are will still be waiting. Now on to the actual article!

Diablo 3 the long anticipated sequel in the Diablo series has been 10 years in the making since the release of Diablo II back in 2001. All signs and previews of this game have pointed to one word that describes this game and that word is….PINEAPPLE!...wait I mean EPIC. The first two Diablo’s were original and cutting edge for their time and quite fun in general. The dungeon scroller format had a somewhat interesting though albeit convoluted story. Originally scheduled for release some time in 2011 it is interestingly enough absent from Blizzards sells projections for this coming year. *Cues the dramatic music* This can only mean one thing my fellow gaming aficionados. Blizzard has once again stood us up and moved back their scheduled release date. I know I know, while this fact is not concrete evidence of this dastardly truth you must admit that the fortunes do not favor its release this year. However, along with this morbid and downright depression inducing news there is a twinkle of hope still on the horizon.

Instead of talking about Blizzard’s gross lack of time management skill (or perhaps their mastery hype) let us as an alternative talk about what they have changed in this game as compared to its archaic prequels. Diablo being as old a game as it is had 2 widely complained about flaws that inhibited the game play…these two missing gears in the cogs of destiny were no other than a cumbersome skills system and somewhat annoying looting scheme. Much like the disease that Megan Fox has contracted these two problems took a beautiful creation and reduced to mere eye candy instead of mind blowing experience…ok so a night with Megan Fox might still be mind blowing and worth it for some of you but you get the point. Allow me to drag you back from your transformers fantasy and let us now discuss how Blizzard in their infinite wisdom and majesty has fixed these Gripes!

Gripe 1 Spells and Abilities System

If you take the time to remember 8-10 years ago when you played Diablo II you would remember the absolutely stunning skills , spells and abilities layout. O come on you remember spamming the left click to shoot your fireball at the approaching horde of goblins and right clicking to cast your pew pew AoE spell? For the most part is was sufficient but on the off chance…. say you need some kind of other spell for I don’t know…perhaps, healing, summoning or running away like a scared little girl (what I do best) well my good sir why don’t you open up your spell book and set it to one of those two buttons while the Goblins naw off your legs. Well good news my fine multitasking compatriots Blizzard has finally decided to let you make the number keys useful in this game. Taking a page from Satan’s book *cough cough* I mean WoW’s book they now have skill bars!...and Numbers it’s all about the biggest numbers! Sorry I digress. Happy Happy Fun Time! This way you can actually use more than two spells without having to switch out your skills manually. Instead you just hit the hot keys or roll your mouse scroller up or down.



Gripe 2 the Looting System

Shinny Shinny Shinny! Who doesn’t like picking up a few shinny pieces of coin after deep frying a giant oger. In a way it your only visible reward for killing that dam beast that took you the better part of 15 minutes and 23 potions to kill. So gallantly you walk back over to pick up your prize only to be mowed down by a group of randomly generated mobs because you cant click fast enough! Yes, readers that is right one of the biggest complaints about Diablo II was having to click to pick up your loot. Le Sigh. Its kind of a sad day when we, as a population, find it too much work to simply click a pile of gold on your screen to pick it up. Yes, I understand how much more mind numbingly easy it is to auto loot but that being a main complaint on a game that is being designed by blizzard…come on they pretty much set the tone with macro’s and auto looting. I mean you couldn’t have picked something else to harp on like the fact that you pretty much need to lug a chest of potions with you everywhere you go in the previous game to get anywhere...alive…or maybe complained about the overall lacking pvp experience of the other games?...no the best you got is I can’t bend over to pick up my gold…well perhaps I need to skimp on the meat the next sandwich I make for your guys cause that’s kind of ridiculous. On a side note the stuff I just mention was fixed as well. Watch the video for a pvp overview. I must say it looks kind of WoW esque which is a good thing.



So overall I the Newest and Nubbliest member of the O and E am excited to see how this new feather in Blizzard's cap plays out!

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LA Noire: Super Awesome Game-play preview

In case you haven’t noticed, I usually manage to find myself fixated on one up and coming game in particular, and I follow it's every move. It seems this time, that game is LA Noire. The uncommon (but bad-ass) style of a 1940's detective movie is something not used often enough, and is something that is right up the alley for Rockstar. It's my job to let you know that hype around it (so far) well earned. Take a look

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The Darkness 2 Exists!

If you go through our entire back catalog (please don't) you'll notice that my first article EVER was over the Darkness and how much I loved it. While it wasn't perfect, it's one of the few games I pick up and play through again every now and then. It just never gets old for me. I always wanted a sequel, but the original came out in 2007 and since then I had only heard one mention of a follow up. Well, it looks like it's actually coming along AAAAND it's supposed to come out fall of this year. Cue happy bloggers.

The game is said to be set two years after the events of the first one. Unlike the first game, where Jackie fought against the mobsters who betrayed him to avenge his girlfriend, he is now the new Don of the Franchetti crime family. He will have to, once again, keep his powers in check while also waging a crime war.


The only thing that slightly unsettles me is that the original developer, Starbreeze, won't be handling the game. However, it has been put in the very capable hands of Digital Extremes so I'm not panicking or anything. Our collective eyes are most definitely on this one.

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