David Cage Criticizes L.A. Noire Motion Capture Technology

If there's anything I've learned from watching the games industry for many years of my life, it's that individuals who work at game developing companies who criticizes other developers are dicks. I'm looking at you Peter Vesterbacka, founder of Rovio. DO YOU REALLY THINK YOUR SHITTY ANGRY BIRDS GAME IS GOOD ENOUGH TO COMPETE WITH REAL CONSOLE GAMES!? DO YOU REALLY THINK CONSOLES ARE DYING BECAUSE PEOPLE BUY $2 TIME WASTER GAMES ON THEIR MOBILE PHONES!? ARE YOU REALLY THAT MASSIVE OF A TOOL!? GUESS WHAT! I CAN PLAY THE GAMES YOU RIPPED OFF FOR FREE ON THE INTERNET. ANGRY BIRDS SUCKS AND SO DO YOU!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!

Oh goodness, I'm sorry. That happens every now and then. I think I'm part Hulk. Anyway, this isn't about Vesterbacka, WHO I FUCKING HA-*ahem*. It's about that David Cage fella who made Heavy Rain. You know, that badly animated quick-time event with awful voice acting. According to mister "my story is perfect and anyone who points out the plot-holes is a moron" Vesterbacka, the (amazing) motion capture technology that was used to create Rockstar's upcoming L.A. Noire is a "dead end".

In an interview with CVG, Cage stated, "I think it's an interesting solution to a problem for now. But it's also an interesting dead end. That's exactly what I feel. Their technique is incredibly expensive and they will never be able to shoot body and face at the same time... We see a huge difference between shooting the face and body separately and shooting everything at the same time. Suddenly you've got a real sense of acting that is consistent...We've made significant progress since Heavy Rain and will continue to make progress until we reach the stage of Avatar. That is probably three, four... five years from now.”

Oh David Cage, do you not realize how much of an ass you sound like. Technology advances. That's what it does. Of course it won't be used forever, but I guarantee you that advances will be made off the back of this tech. I haven't exactly seen any new impressive tech from you recently... or ever. I also wouldn't call Avatar photo-realistic. Gameplay that allows us to make decisions based on facial animations is revolutionary and you should celebrate it. Maybe the new mo-cap could actually help your characters' look right in the future.

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRR

DUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

It doesn't end there, though. Cage then seemingly tried to cover his own ass by telling the interviewer, "I think L.A. Noire looks good - honestly, it does - but I don't think they'll go much further than where they are.” Well if that isn't the most backhanded compliment I've ever heard. I'm sure Rockstar is just elated that you think their game looks "good". Not great, just good. Well, I guess we'll see what the public and media think when the response to L.A. Noire is compared to whatever game you have up your ass.