The Elitist's Least Favorite Video Game Moments: Sidekicks (Noooo, not you Kazooie)

Hey I know you are busy you know, saving the world and beating up really really bad guys, and Ima let you finish. But, uh... you know... You can shoot the big glowing eyeball on the boss to win.
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Hey I know you are busy you know, saving the world and beating up really really bad guys, and Ima let you finish. But, uh... you know... You can shoot the big glowing eyeball on the boss to win.

I KNOW!!!!!!!

We all know the feeling. That annoying mentor character/helpful sidekick that gives you useful (obvious) information throughout the game. The moment you actually have to stop and think about what to do, the Up-C button starts to blink because Navi HAS TO TELL YOU that Death Mountain looks scary, or that these vines on the wall look climbable, because you totally didn't know that.
Thanks for letting me know Navi.




"Hey"

Oh.. yes?

"Death Mountain looks scary... go check it out."

I-I know... we just had this conversation, we are in Kakariko Village right now. We are going to-

"Hey!"

Yes....

"Death Mountain looks scary!"
...
...
...
Please Die.

I know that teasing Navi is about as easy as throwing paper wads at that kid who eats glue all day, but it's annoying sidekick example numero uno, and a good lead into someone else I hate.
General Kota.

The first part is the important part. (first 2mins or so)


Now, understand this guy knew how the fight went, so Kota only had a chance to say his 1000 pieces of advice once, but imagine not knowing what your doing, so Kota tells you.

"Try attacking the shackles!"
"Give 'em a good shock!"

EVERY FLIPPING TIME you miss the opportunity, because you are not quite sure how the mechanics work yet. It took me about 5-10minutes to figure out how the shackles worked, and then (because I played on the hardest difficulty) I sometimes failed, because the Gorog would move his fist before I could "give it a good shock!!" uugghhhh, shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up!!!!

So, moving away from the blatantly annoying loudmouth side kicks, I want to talk about a more subtle annoyance. The never pleased Kreia from KotOR. From the very first time you meet her, she always gives off this neutral vibe. She informs you of all possibilities, and hints at the consequences of each one. The fact that its a good or evil thing to do doesn't seem to go into her equation while giving advice.She apparently believes that you have to be neutral also. Let's say you gave away half of your credits so that lonely, hungry, dying, homeless Jawa so he can board the next frigate home, and can actually eat a meal tonight. Well, as soon as the little fellow is out of sight (even if Kreia isn't with you) Kreia will chime in:

"If you seek to aid everyone that suffers in the galaxy, you will only weaken yourself… and weaken them. It is the internal struggles, when fought and won on their own, that yield the strongest rewards. You stole that struggle from them, cheapened it. If you care for others, then dispense with pity and sacrifice and recognize the value in letting them fight their own battles. And when they triumph, they will be even stronger for the victory."

Leading you to believe that if you want to be in Kreia's favor, you had better mean up a bit. So, you are moving along, doin' that exiled Jedi thing, then suddenly a group of thieves jump into your path, you can simply scare them off, but as the turn to leave, you attack, fighting all of the thieves, killing them for slowing your path to your destiny. Surely that is what Kreia would want... Right? Wrong. She says things like this.

"Do not see every enemy as an enemy—see them instead as an ally, whether they know it or not"
"Are psychotic urges all that drive you?"


WHAT?!

So pure neutrality right? Just coast through the universe indifferent and neutral, playing the game as it comes around, is that what you want Kreia??

"So you will do nothing? Apathy is death. Worse than death, because at least a rotting corpse feeds the beasts and insects."
**Kills self**