Fast Talking Freddie's Fantastic Fuckin' Deals: Magic Beans!

Welcome to The Outlaw and The Elitist! The very best video game blog in the Galaxy. That's right, you heard me, the entire galaxy! I'm Fast Talkin Freddie, and well, I'll be damned if it's not your lucky fuckin' day! I'll be showin up, posting here on this blog, giving you the best deals on all of your favorite video game gadgets and gizmos, doo-dads, and thingy-ma-jigs; you would be a moron to miss out on all these fantastic deals!

I know what you're thinking: "Freddie? What's the point? Why am I such a lucky person today?"
Well let me tell you.

Let's go on a journey now, to the forever cyclical world of good and evil, Hyrule! Forever bombarded by constant shifts from prosperity to domination, Hyrule has managed to keep a thriving economy! Today's deal comes straight from Zora's river, but has nothing to do with Zora's. I don't trust those scaly sons-a-bitches, with their fins and their four eyes...... If I had it my way I'd charge right into thatnastyplacewithallthosenastystinkingfshpeopleandIwouldbringeverysingleoneofmygunsandgrumblefiggagraggablammanerflegramle..

Magic Beans!!
"Now Freddie" You are saying "I've heard a story about Magic Beans, and I ain't givin you my cow."
Fear not skeptical customer, because these Magic Beans are marked by the OandE Guarantee! We promise, on pain of death, that these Magic Beans will in no manner create beanstalks that will take you to an angry Giant's home. And that's a promise you can trust! No sir, these Magic Beans are of a different, unique, and affordable nature. For a low, low payment of 10 rupees*, you can purchase your first Magic Bean! What does the Magic Bean do, after all?

Have you ever wanted a plant, that after watering once, you can ignore for seven whole years, and it'll be completely bloomed and blossomed? Have you ever thought, "I really wish I could use this leaf to fly to hard to reach locations." Has there ever been a Piece of Heart you just couldn't obtain no matter how hard you tried? Well... then you need the Magic Bean!

free bottle is free

Plant the Magic Bean in soft soil, water it once, and then wait. After seven short years, your Magic Bean will be fully grown, ready to fly you around on its patented "It's Magic, I Have No Idea How It Works" technology!
Just wait! If you order with in the next 19 seconds, we will include this fantastic Bottle! Free of Charge! That's a Seven Cucco, Three Super Cucco, Distress Note, or Ten Big Poe value, ABSOLUTELY FREE! How do you plan on watering your Magic Bean without a receptacle? The Bottle is perfect! And we are simply giving it away! That's how fuckin' FANTASTIC this deal is!

There is more yet! I must have lost my mind! If you make a simple donation of one Triforce of Courage, we will throw in, for no extra charge whatsoever, this man!




Call Now!

* Price increases 10 rupees for every purchase.