E3 2011: Sony Confrerence

Halo, Gears, and the very beginning of the conference aside, Microsoft's E3 conference was horrendous. I spent most of it yelling at the top of my lungs as children were paraded out in front of a kinect all the while feigning interest in bullshit. "Fistbuuuuump." Give me a fucking break. I would have rather spent all that time punching myself in the dick. So of course, I was already mad going into this. "It's all going to be Move and 3D nonsense," I shouted at no one in particular. So was I right? Kind of.

First, an apology

We all knew they would have to say something about the PSN debacle that was the scourge of many last month. And what better way to do it than to get it out of the way at the very beginning. When Jack Tretton walked on stage, he immediately apologized for the whole thing and thanked the consumers and retailers for supporting the platform. He then made a comment about the press loving to cover bad news which was ended by saying, "you're welcome." Bad Sony! Bad! You do not make yourself look like more of a victim by pointing a finger at the big, bad press. That would make you the company equivalent of Sarah Palin. Do you want that!? DO YOU!? He then made up for it way later by making fun of Kaz Hirai's old "Riiiiiidge Raceeeeeeer" meme right after he left the stage. Whether or not he still has a job has yet to be reported on. He then went on to detail more PSN features that are on the way, such as something called Cinema Now. And with that, it was time to bring out the games.

Uncharted 3

It's always good to start strong, but I don't know why they covered the PS3's best series first (Uncharted IS the best series on the system and if you think otherwise you're wrong). Anyway, it was, of course, fantastic. We got to see a level demoed first which saw Nathan stuck a ship at sea during a massive storm. All the details were there. He would stumble a bit as he tried to maintain his balance and he was always a bit slouched over as he tried to stay low. There were a few weird animations here and there, but hell, the game isn't finished. The level climaxed as the ship started sinking and Drake was forced to make his way out while the ship was tossed on it's side. It was breathtaking. Then they brought up the trailer which culminated with a fight on the loading dock of a plane in flight. The last thing we see Drake being thrown from the back, just barely catching the netting that ties the cargo in. We see him begin his climb back when we are cut off. Honestly, words can't do it justice. It looks amazing.

Resistance 3

I've never been much of a fan of Resistance. None of the games have ever managed to be much beyond "good," and this demo honestly wasn't much different. "Here are some aliens; shoot them. Here's a new gun that attracts enemies to the projectile. Look at this giant boss. We're hoping hyping this monster won't result in the same let-down that occurred in 2." So yeah, kinda boring, but this is where the pointless dribble started. Move reared it's ugly head and they advertised a sharpshooter pack (you know, that plastic thing you put on a move remote for no reason other than lack of imagination) for Resistance. Included with the plastic that's only worth, well, it's weight in plastic, it also comes with Move and some other things. Full price: $150. Looks like Sony still likes overpricing things. That's ridiculous.

HD Remasters of Old Games

The God of War Origins collection was announced. It will be a HD remake of the psp God of War games for the PS3. They also brought up the HD Ico collection will, of course, include Ico and Shadows of the Colossus. I'll be buying that on day one.

New 3D TV

They're coming out with a new 20 something inch 3D t.v. that was designed for direct hookup to your PS3 that comes with glasses, an HDMI cable, and Resistance 3... for $499. Go ahead and waste your money on that if you want. I'm so sick of the idea of wearing 3D glasses to watch T.V.

Move

While this isn't all in order, at this point they reaaaally started pushing move. "You can play this NBA game with move! Here's Kobe Bryant! I bet all of you gamers care!" We don't. Then they showed Medieval Moves which is completely a move game, so kinda crappy looking. HOWEVER, I would like to emphasize that this was the only game showcased that was like this. Pretty much every other game mentioned only had Move capabilities, which is fine. I think it's stupid, but there are people who have fun with that and it doesn't force me to use it.

Infamous 2 and New Announcements

This is where they mentioned that Infamous 2 would be out tomorrow (today) and announced games like Starhawk and Dust 514. I didn't really know what to make of those, but the big reveal was SLY 4!!! All of these games will of course have (dumb) move support which led into...

Bioshock Infinite

Yes. One of our most anticipated games of 2012. Words cannot express how breathtaking it looks. But one thing was unsettling. Ken Levine himself came to talk, not about the game-play, but how Sony reps came to him and made him a believer in move, which he originally scorned. So now it has that too. Sigh. Also, he teased a Bioshock universe game on the NGP (which was later officially dubbed the Vita).

Playstation Exclusives

Around mentioning a new Star Trek game that I guess comes out with the new movie, exclusive features for other new games were announced. Saint's Row gets something extra, SSX gets a Mt. Fuji map, Need for Speed gets 7 additional cars, Battlefield 3 gets Battlefield 1943 on the same disc, and Bioshock Infinite gets Bioshock 1 on the same disc.

Vita

Then came Vita. They showcased an Uncharted game, Ruin (which kinda looks like Diablo), Street Fighter X Tekken, and a new Modnation Racers and LittleBigPlanet that both have access to the same tools and creations from their console counterparts. Some of the optional (I hope) control methods look kinda dumb, though. Tilting the screen and jumping to ledges by using a touchpad? That's too easy and kind of lame. But like I said, I think that's optional. They showcased features of the machine like the back-side touchpad (they really liked using the phrase "rear-touch"). There will be two versions of the machine: one with just wi-fi for $249, and one with 3G through AT&T for $299. They also mentioned something new called the Playstation Suite which we will here about later. And that's pretty much it.


So all-in-all it was a pretty good showing. However, their persistence with move is proof that they are still behind on the times and perhaps a bit out of touch. That would be nothing new for Sony. We will have a summery of Nintendo's conference once we finish processing the information. Spoiler alert: Nintendo wins.