Friday, January 28, 2011

New Wii Kirby Game Announced!

Surprise, surprise! Looks like Nintendo has already announced a new Kirby game, and it looks to go back to its roots. While we here at the O and E absolutely loved Epic Yarn, we love the originals to death. Along with Nintendo's financial reports came a new gameplay trailer which you can view below!

Unfortunately it is a bit blurry, but it still looks kind of amazing. On top of Kirby's copying powers returning, it also looks like it will include special, own everything on the screen moves. Color us excited!

PSP2 Details

So Sony recently announced the PSP2, errr the NGP (Next Generation Portable). While we don't yet know all the details, we do know a few things. While I can't really compare it to the PSP much, I never owned one, it does actually hold some promise. Here is a list of the things we actually find most interesting.

This is big, yet unexpected news. People have been clambering for a twin stick hand-held for a while as we have yet to find a more precise control scheme. It seems as though Sony has finally taken notice and implemented this feature.

I'm actually kind of skeptical of this. For one, this seems to rip off both to Iphone and, in some ways, the DS. However, imitation is the best form of flattery and it might actually turn out OK. The think I'm most concerned about, though, it the fact that the back also has a touch screen. What possible use that could have baffles me, but some developers do tend to be quite creative. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

OLED stands for Organic Light Emitting Display and it apparently looks terrific. While the screen is only 5 inches, it has a resolution of 960x544. That isn't HD, but it is better than standard definition. However, because it is on a 5 inch screen, it will look amazing.

Apparently, the NGP has close to the same abilities that the PS3 has. Several franchises have already been confirmed such as, Uncharted, Call of Duty, Killzone, LittleBigPlanet, Wipeout, and Resistance. This is all very promising, but to be honest, the only ones we care about are Uncharted and LittleBigPlanet.

In the era of quick, digital download, this is very important. We don't know everything that the PSP2 will be able to do with this, but it does seem that there will be a online store service called the PS Suite. This will contain Android software for those of you that like casual phone games. However, the PSP2 will have multiple models and the one that includes 3G will cost extra. Sigh.

After the failure of the PSP Go, it seems like Sony is once again realizing the importance of physical media. The PSP2's games will come on flash memory sticks, which, according to Sony, will allow developers to make larger games.


One of the biggest problems with the PSP was that it wasn't worth the price. However, just because it won't be almost $600 doesn't mean it won't be cheap. If Sony makes it about as expensive as a PS3, I guarantee is won't be as successful as it could be.

While this isn't yet set in stone, Sony is apparently shooting for a longer battery life. If it can pull this off, it might have the edge against the 3DS with its 3-5 hour life.

So what do we think? To be honest, we are skeptical. While the PSP was more powerful than the 3DS, Nintendo's hand-held handed its ass to it. This was because Sony subscribed to the idea that more power meant more sales. They didn't seem to understand the hand-held culture. We weren't going to pay that much money for a hand-held that didn't have that many interesting titles just because it could play PS2 level games. We were more interested in the cheaper DS which provided more creative titles on top of Nintendo's proven games, such as New Super Mario Bros. and Zelda. While the PSP2 is impressive, we aren't yet sold on it. I suppose we will see when it launches this holiday season.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Little Big Planet 2 Review

So, you are probably thinking some combination of three things: Wow, these guys are really slow at writing reviews I hate them, Oh this should be interesting I enjoy LBP, or What the hell...? Why is The Elitist writing a review for a PS3 game?!?!?! WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY WORLDDDDDDDDD!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Monday, January 24, 2011

The Outlaw's Favorite Game Moments: Using The Boost To Get Through

While we here at The O and E have many favorite gaming moments, very few of them can be used to help us in our daily lives. Star Fox 64, however, presents an exception. No, it isn't doing barrel rolls. The opportunity to preform such a maneuver rarely comes to those of us who are not in the Air Force. I am, of course, talking about using the boost to get through. In typical fashion, I will now post a video of this action occurring in game.

It's in there somewhere

However, as I stated earlier, the applications of using the boost to get through aren't limited to the game, however great using it may be. Nor am I only bringing this up because of Peppy's famous instructions over using the boost. I'm writing about this because the game highlights just how important it is to master using a boost function to get through things in the real world.

Did you know that over 75% of accidents both in the home and in public in the United States could have been avoided if the victim, or victims, had used the boost to get through things. It is also believed that around 50% of murder victims could have escaped their unfortunate fate if they had only used their boost function. Many say that there is some kind of social point to be made from the fact that the murder rates in Canada are lower than the US', but this is not the case. The truth of the matter is that ever since the release of Star Fox 64, Canada has enacted laws that require all schools to put students through rigorous training programs that teach them how to properly boost in everyday situations.

Here is a picture of a typical P.E. class in the United States. Instead of using this valuable time to teach kids to use boost, the coaches have them doing things like jumping jacks. Because of this, around 57% of these students will die in accidents that could have been avoided through proper boost use.

While death is obviously a bigger issue, using the boost to get through can also prevent damage to property both personal and public. Here we see the results of a lack of federal funding to Using The Boost To Get Through (UTBTGT) programs in law enforcement.

While the numbers speak for themselves, I can speak from personal experience that using boost has helped me in my personal life. One time I was walking to class and two giant enemy robots on opposite sides of my path toppled towers in order to crush me. While a person untrained in the art of boost would have been crushed, or at least would have ran head-first into the obstacles causing massive damage, I was able to use the boost to get through. I escaped the situation unscathed.

On a less dire note, however, boost can also be used to help you get ahead in life.

Here we see a man using boost to get to work early. To his superiors, it appeared as though his work ethic was much greater than that of his co-workers. This has resulted in him receiving 4 promotions within 8 months. He is set to become chairman of the board this April. Not known to his higher-ups, however, is the man's insatiable drive to steal office supplies, which would of course lead to him being fired. As you've probably concluded, though, he has never been caught. Why? You guessed it. Boost.

Hopefully, I have done my job of highlighting the importance of using boost. It also wouldn't hurt for you to go back and play Star Fox 64 again. Perhaps with the re-release of the game on the 3DS, the world will finally understand the necessity of mastering this technique. If you have any questions feel free to consult either me or Nintendo.

L.A. Noire: New Trailer has Murder, Detectives, Romance, and Crazy Good Face Animation.

How do you do it Rockstar, how am I always so ridiculously captured by your games?!
So Rockstar has been teasing us with L.A. Noire for some time now. We have been fed cinematic wonders and doses of game-play to make us more excited than a PI on a huge lead. After a bit of a leak info fiasco, that led to the following video a speculated release date; Rockstar finally officially released this newest video, and it even came tied in a bow of (confirmed) release date!

Set to launch May 20, 2011 (so soon!) we cannot wait to get out hands this new Rockstar gem. The faces look so real!!

The Elitist's Least Favorite Video Game Moments: Force Unleashed 2

Despite the fact that Force Unleashed 2 was a massive poopy mess of disappointment in and of itself, it had some redeeming facts. Starkiller is still awesome, he still does stupid ridiculous Force related awesome, and Vader is still a badass. However, the game managed to take all of these things, put them together, and then make it suck.

Ye Olde Spoilers Ahoy!

So, eventually you have to fight Vader. Duh. This, one would expect, would be the biggest clash of the Force anyone as ever seen. Super powerful Anikan Skywalker gone dark side, and Jedi prodigy Starkiller fighting it out in a to-the-death brawl. You would think the sheer kick-ass-ery of such a cataclysmic clash of power would send you into a catatonic state of Force Lightning and Lightsaber throws. You would be so so absolutely red light wrong.

My writers are lazy and unoriginal! Hear my three sentences and be sad!
In the stead, of what is cool and not lame, you actually get to do something very lame. It's annoying, semi difficult, unnecessarily long, and still lame. The basic build of the fight is this: You smack Vader around a bit, but he is a boss, so you have to zip around him, try to hit him from behind while making sure to block or dodge his attacks. You cannot use force powers on him a majority of the time due to the aforementioned Boss state, so you take your combos whenever you can. Problem number one arises. Eventually you and Vader will lock lightsabers, forcing you to make quick actions to avoid or overpower Vader (pressing A really quickly, hit L and R and the right time, moving LS and RS to avoid, etc. All timed properly, blah blah you know the drill) While this is all happening, Vader taunts Starkiller saying how is.. like.. not good and stuff... and how he is dumb... and how the things he likes are dumb... (reference!) and then Starkiller gets all mad, and Vader runs away. You are then met with these creepy half born Starkiller fetuses that are primarily useless and are easy enough to best even on the hardest difficulty. The annoying part is while you are fighting them, prickface Vader is either throwing vats of Starkiller baby at you, or standing next you hitting and or choking you. It is the hurties.
After killing your creepy clone babies (they aren't really babies...) you chase Vader, and the whole bloody thing starts again. Super Lame Mode Go!
To make matters just even more annoying, there are only about 3 dialogs that Vader and Starkiller share while locked in (lame) mortal combat. So by the end of it, you just want both of them to shut up and just kill each other. Hopefully at the same time before they have a chance to open their stupid repetitive mouths. Just watch and see the dumb.

Side note, I encountered the quick time events a whole lot more often. Maybe I did it badly, but this gives a pretty good idea.
Still dumb.

Duke Nukem Forever Release Date Announced. Space/Time Remains Intact

Everyone said it was vaporware. All hope had been lost. Duke Nukem became the internet's biggest joke as we all laughed to keep from crying over the loss of guns such as the ripper. The developers went under as gameplay videos leaked out showing us what we were truly losing. Then Gearbox picked it up and said it would see the light of day. Only a few were quick to renounce their doubt, however, as we still, after 12 years of waiting, were without a release date. Well, now everyone can officially don their fancy eating bibs and eat their own words, which I guess involves writing your own quote on a piece of paper and choking it down. Duke Nukem Forever's release date has been announced, and it's May 3rd. Along with this comes a new, actually really awesome, trailer. Watch now!

NSFW. Oh, did I mention that a bit late?

Welp, let's all fess up. We're excited. Now all we have to do is sit back and wait for the announcement that Osama has been caught, North Korea has disarmed, and Iran is having a regime change. Also, everyone gets a unicorn. Always bet on the duke!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Nintendo Says "No" to Justin Bieber: Proceeds To Then Point And Laugh At Him.

OK, so they might not have done that last part, but they have every right to. I mean, he's short, he can't sing, is Canadian, and probably smells funny. Oh right, the story.

So Bieber apparently has a movie coming out soon called "Never Say Never" or something like that. I honestly find that awful as it's basically a slap in the face to one of my favorite animated movies, An American Tail, but I digress. So it turns out that the "director" of the "film" asked Nintendo to let them use music from Mario in the movie, and in a moment of brilliant decision making, they said no.

I refuse to put the kid's face on the site so here is a picture of an Octopus. I've been watching shows about them on the Science Channel all night. You'd be amazed at how incredibly intelligent they are.

Not long afterward, the director, Jon Chu, wrote the following on twitter:

“aw C’mon Nintendo! Y won’t u let us use the Mario theme for 15 secs in the @Justinbieber movie talk about free advertising passed up. Oops."

Beyond posting a response that resembles that of a young teenager who is slightly miffed at his parents, Chu doesn't seem to understand a few things. For one, Nintendo's hardcore fanbase and Justin Bieber's tasteless followers most likely have around 0% crossover. As a Nintendo fan myself, I would have been disgusted if the movie was allowed to use it. For two... missed advertising? I honestly don't think Nintendo needs you to advertise for them. The Mario name will always be bigger than Bieber's. After all, Mario will still be in great games long after Bieber is on the news for cocaine possession. Get a clue, sir.

Visceral and Bioware Go on a Date: Isaac Clarke Looses Some Clothes!

Apparently there is some love in the air between the developers of Dragon Age 2 (Bioware) and the creators of Dead Space 2 (Visceral Games). Who can blame 'em?! Or it could just be clever mutual marketing. In fact, I am almost certain it is clever marketing.
Could be love also...

Renegade Shepard of Mass Effect: A Profile in Civility

Commander Shepard. Captain of the Normandy. The first human Spectre. Savior of the Citadel.....

And a complete and utter jerk.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Nintendo 3DS Officially Announced to Launch March 27! Also, how it works!

During a press conference and in a series of twitter posts and "official statements", Nintendo officially launched huge amounts of information about their up and coming hand held console, the 3DS. Nintendo said that the device will be set to launch in the states on March 27 2011 and will be sold at $249.99, which is a little less than was previously estimated! The console is also set to be launched with 30 titles following right on its heels. Good things abound!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Final Fantasy XIII-2 Announced. Continues Trend of Spin-offs and Awkward Names

If you haven't had enough of Final Fantasy XIII (AKA The Adventures of Tutorial McGee and Some Anime People), than it's time for you to rejoice, because you're getting a new one. While details are scarce, it looks to continue the story of Lightning, which is strange because she was the least interesting. On top of that, it has also been mentioned that the battle system will be a further evolution of itself. Whatever that means is anyone's guess, but I'm at least interested as I liked 13's battle system. And no... it didn't play itself and if you honestly think that than you are a fool. Here's a trailer. Watch before it gets taken down.


We'll of course keep an eye on this one, but as long as Sazh returns I'm semi-optimistic. It's release should be sometime in 2012.

New Bulletstorm Trailer Pokes Fun at Halo

We here at the O and E love Halo. We honestly think it is still one of the best multiplayer experiences on the market. But let's be honest; it tends to be up it's own ass. Besides the live-action trailers, which are admittedly kind of cool, the apex of this was of course the Halo 3 90 second trailer that depicted a battle with action figures that was never even close to being replicated in the game. If you don't remember, take a look-see.

Cue sad trombone

Well, next month we gets Epic's new incredibly balls-out ridiculous first person shooter Bulletstorm, and true to form, the ad makes a mockery of the overly serious Halo advert.


Whether it's brilliant or just subliminal advertising for hot dogs is, of course, up to you, but we think it's genius. Bulletstorm drops next month.

The Outlaw's Last Favorite Game Moments: EVERY GODDAMN THING ABOUT GHOSTS 'N GOBLINS

I recently had the misfortune to PAY MONEY for the arcade version of Ghosts 'N Goblins on the Wii Virtual Console. Widely regarded as one of the hardest games of all time, I decided to take a shot at the retro classic. Well, after three trips to the doctor to test for high-blood pressure, the verdict is in: THE WHOLE FUCKING THING IS BULLSHIT!

First of all, you only get two measly hits and then it's a one-way trip to maggotville. Sure, there is the rare chance that enemies drop armor, but most of the time they drop items that only look like it. That brief moment of relief is replaced by feelings of hate as the game basically tells you to enjoy some points that mean nothing. And then... then there's that red devil fucker.

See that spawn of evil taking a javelin to the face? Kill him... then kill his demon family. Eat his children and burn his village. Hunt down the remainders. Never stop.

I have more hatred in my blood for these bastards than I do for hipsters (it's the "in thing" to hate them right now, right?) For one, they are the only enemy I have encountered that does its best to dodge your attacks, and it does it well. Once they are airborne, they might slam into you with a move that seems inescapable. They might land and march at you shooting projectiles. Or... and, I'm being serious, they might just walk through the floor and pop out on top of you. Don't believe me? Just watch this Irate Gamer video and pay extra attention at 3 minutes and 7 seconds. TAKE IT AWAY GUY I'VE JUST NOW HEARD OF!

Fuckin' aye, man.

He talks about some of the other things that piss me off, such as that useless torch, so I'll leave it at that. Fuck you, Ghosts 'N Goblins. Fuck you and everyone you've ever loved.

The Elitist's Favorite Video Game Moments: Dead Space

In the spirit of the upcoming favorite, Dead Space 2, I felt like this was the perfect time to do a favorite moment I have been wanting to do for some time. Dead Space is pretty well known for its affinity toward being completely over-the-top gory and violent. Which, by the way is awesome. The dramatic deaths, gore, mangled bodies, and spurting blood hold a dear place in gamers hearts. It adds pizzaz (and hilarity) to an already successful game. So, tonight I bring you an addition to my favorite moments. Isaac Clark's (or just Dead Space) Deaths.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Dead Space 2 Launch Trailer

The Elitist here, bringing you yet again more Dead Space 2 hype and excitement. If you can't tell, I am maybe a little bit excited for this game. This trailer is filled with crazy off the wall super adrenaline filled awesome.

Those with weak constitution... well I don't really care watch it.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

No-Bark Noonan of Fallout: New Vegas

You may remember old No-Bark as that bloody loon of a man that threatened to stab you with “Ol’ Sticky” in Novac. Was there a time when he wasn’t so...ah...contentious? Did he once have it all, or at least as much as a person living in a post-apocalyptic wasteland could want?

A Word of Introduction from El Jefe

Welcome, readers! El Jefe here, making my debut for the esteemed, illustrious, famed, and fabled O&E. It is an honor to be working with such fine gentlemen in this grand endeavor, which, I am most confident, will be legendarily awesome. Like really badass. Just sayin.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Elitist's Least Favorite Video Game Moments: Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask

Dear Reader,

Before you start a militant raid to support what you believe to be my loathing for Majora's Mask because you are one of those weirdies who believes that Ocarina of Time is the only good Zelda ever etc. etc. etc. understand that I believe that Majora's Mask is a fantastic game worthy of much praise and respect. It's a game comparable to OoT and deserves to be in the upper echelon of Zelda games. That is all.

The Elitist

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Outlaw's Favorite Game Moments: RDR Undead Nightmare

This week you get a double moment, because I just couldn't make a choice. However, they both take place in Red Dead Redemption's Undead Nightmare, the best DLC in existence, so that's my reasoning. I don't care if it doesn't make sense, I'm in the interwebs. Anyway, let's get started with Howard Moon, the most ignorant man in the west.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Dead Space 2 Demo!

It's here! Well.. part of it is here. The Demo is here! you can download it now on Xbox Live! and you should totally do it because it is super duper awesome cool!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The Outlaw's Least Favorite Game Moments: Almost Everything About Sonic Adventure 1

Guess what everyone! Sonic turns 20 this summer! However, instead of waiting till then to give everyone's favorite hedgehog shit, I'm going to do it now. Anyway, there are many I've talked to who say they have fond memories of Sonic Adventure 1. How could they not? It was a launch title on the most criminally killed system of all time, the Dreamcast. Well, like telling a child there is no such thing as Santa Claus, I'm going to ruin all of that for you. Then the healing can begin.

The Elitist's Favorite Video Game Moments: Force Unleashed

There is almost nothing as cool as a super secret apprentice to Darth Vader whose goal is to help overthrow the Emperor allowing Vader to rise as supreme leader of the galaxy. Make that super secret apprentice the biggest badass the Force as ever seen, and you have the most awesome potential for a Star Wars spin off.

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