Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Importance Of Using Bombs Wisely: A Lesson From A Legend

A few months ago I explained why "using the boost to get through" things was a function absolutely crucial to survival in today's world. However, this was merely one life lesson that the great prophet Peppy sought to teach us. Like a disciple who has set forth to spread a holy doctrine, I will explain yet another teaching of the Church of Hare: Using bombs wisely.

Surely this is the face of holy wisdom

Mankind has been using bombs for centuries upon centuries. As you all know, or should know at least, China was the first to develop gun powder around the mid-9th century. While you might think they used this invention to kill people, they actually used it to make fireworks for celebratory purposes.

Sure, it's pretty, but is it wise?


You can hardly blame man-kind for being unwise with a new invention. History has shown that the second we come up with something new we find dumb-ass ways to hurt ourselves with it (while most likely trying to impress girls). However, just fast forward a few centuries later and we're using them to kill each other just like we were meant to.
But, beyond the obvious answer of self-injury prevention, why is it important to use bombs wisely?

Well the obvious answer is war. One of the most efficient ways to kill your enemy is to place a high explosive near his person and detonate it. And if it doesn't kill him... well he'll certainly wish he was dead. I for one am deadly afraid of growing old and the thought of doing so with a missing appendage seems worse than getting a proctology exam from Edward Scissor Hands.
But on a more positive note I hear he does give out lollipops.

However, managing to kill your enemy requires you to successfully hurt them and not yourself. It also means you cannot not waste bombs. So how do you do this? Well first of all, you must recognize when it is appropriate to use said weapons. Here are some visual examples to teach differentiation.

Bombs are not necessary


Of course, giant space monkeys are few and far between. As I pointed out a while ago, gigantic robots are a plague on my everyday existence. Sometimes regular weapons just aren't enough in the limited time I have during my walks to class. That's where bombs come in. A well-placed bomb is sometimes the only thing that can guarantee me my showing up in time to take a pop-quiz. So in a sense, I owe some of the A's I make to bombs. So the next time you are attacked by a giant mechanical maniac, remember that a quick bomb to the glowing weak spot can end things quickly.

But don't think for a second that my earlier picture means you should never use explosives on rabbits.

Then of course there's the rule of not detonating bombs too close to yourself. I understand that setting off a bomb in close proximity seems to go against human nature, but let's be honest, humans are dumb. I mean, it is custom that some friends of mine and I shoot roman candles at each other come the 4th of July... well not anymore. Not since I ended up with a giant wound on my forehead. It's actually kind of ironic that the first time we used eye protection we had our first injury (a round got stuck between my head and the goggles). Didn't bother me though. I love irony. But I digress.

The point is to not let bombs go off near you. It can hurt... a lot. Also, and I can't stress this enough, ear protection is important too. Sure, you may be far enough away to not eat shrapnel, but that doesn't mean the sound-waves won't make your eardrums their bitch. Just ask my ol' uncle 1 thumb. He actually has both his thumbs, but we thought giving him that nickname even though he lost his hearing to explosions would be more amusing. We've also given him other meaner nicknames, but he doesn't care. After all, it's not like he can hear us.

Before I leave you I'll give you another example of not using bombs wisely. Did you know Bill Clinton used bombs unwisely when he bombed an aspirin factory. I bet you thought he was awesome for some reason because he was good at taking credit for stuff that Bush Sr. did. Do you know about Bush Sr.? He was, and still is, a boss. In fact, he's probably one of the best presidents of the modern age. Much better than his son or that incompetent guy in office now. Wait, is this a political blog? I forget cause I'm a political science major. That means I'll be poor in the future. At least I'll still know how to use bombs wisely. AND NOW YOU WILL TOO!

"Terrorists?! I'll hit 'em where it hurts! NO MORE HANGOVER CURES FOR THEM! Next,
I'll get me an alka seltzer factory!"

This article brought to you by brandy: Brandy; it's like wine, but it'll get you fucked up quicker.

Friday, April 15, 2011

City-Swimmer of Oblivion: A Biography

Does anyone see City-Swimmer?” asks the shabbily dressed Argonian female crouching before me. “Is he gliding beneath the silver water? Is he creeping ‘round a corner, hugging a wall, silent as a shadow in the dark? No! I am here! I stand proud before you, City-Swimmer, trainer of the prospective Sneaker, the sly sliding unseen!”

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Super Street Fighter 3DS Review

As much as I love the 3DS I have to admit that the launch line-up is pretty weak. With Steel Diver and Nintendogs+Cats (what a dumbass name) tanking in the review department and people saying that Street Pass is the greatest thing about the system so far, it's hard to argue against that point. But there are diamonds in the rough, Rayman being one of them. But nothing shines like Street Fighter.

It may not be the flashiest fighter, but Street Fighter has always been at the top of my fighting game list. I love Mortal Kombat for the violence and I love MvC for the characters. But when it comes to the mechanics, nothing shines like Street Fighter.
Like it or not Street Fighter is the best and Super Street fighter added enough characters to the original roster from 4 to put it light years ahead of the competition. But how does it fare when it's made into a hand-held port. The answer: pretty damn well.

I'm not going to dwell on what makes Street Fighter great. You either like it or you don't. Besides, I am no fighting game expert. But I have played the original and the port and know enough to compare the two. Trust me, there is virtually no difference. All the characters from Super are there and they are not altered in the least. Seeing as the 3DS has a joystick, the combos are completely unchanged. COMPLETELY UNCHANGED! If you were an expert with a character in Super Street Fighter you will be an expert with him or her in the 3DS version. And for the newbie the bottom screen has four buttons, each with a quick prompt. Two have good moves and the other two have your super and ultra hotkeyed to them. The only issue are the left hotkeys as hitting them while moving isn't exactly easy, but it can be learned.

Seriously, those hotkeys are pretty cool.

Beyond mechanics, the game still looks fantastic. The characters look great and the graphics really show off what the system can do. They made the backgrounds stationary, but who cares. Do you really pay attention to the fat kid under the overpass? Neither do I. From what I hear, putting it in 3D mode slows down the frame-rate a tad, but it's not really noticeable for people who didn't play the original version religiously.

It looks like this, but 3D! Fantastic 3D.

As it's a port, I don't have much to say beyond this. But in terms of launch game quality, it's fantastic. It looks, plays, and handles perfectly. Playing against your friends is also a plus. I've heard that some people have lag issues when they play each other, but the games I've played against others have run smoothly. Rayman is great, but Street Fighter is nearly perfect. Along with Street Pass and Rayman, it should be more than enough to hold you over till the 3DS's fantastic summer line-up.

9 Out of 10.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

A Week In The Life Of A 3DS Owner

The following are entries found in a bloody journal apparently written by me. I have no knowledge of this and I feel as though I have only now regained true consciousness as of my purchasing of the 3DS. It seems to chronicle everything related to the 3DS from 12:01 A.M. of Sunday, March 27 to 11:59 P.M. of Saturday, April 2. The later entries have been deemed somewhat disturbing. Reader discretion is advised.

Sunday, March 27

-Stephen and I just got in line! We got the numbers 5 and 6 so we got to cut waaaaay the hell in line. I called it our press pass. Stephen told me to stop talking.

-It's in my hands! Why do my pants feel tighter?

-Just played Street Fighter. How in the hell does it look this good?

-What do these cards do? Holy fuckin' robot Jesus! There's a 3D hole in Stephen's couch!

-Made my Mii. Still no read hair option. Nintendo is so racist.

-Stephen and I got Street Pass to work. My idea to literally walk by each other actually worked. Making the systems make out did not.

-Playing Face Raiders now. I just saw my friend Josh's face in clown paint. The 3DS thought he was an infant even though he has a full beard. Stephen saw Josh's face spit out miniature versions of his own. Nintendo just invented legal LSD.

-I think the 3DS is talking to me. It's... telling me to do things... horrible things.

-I want to look at the menu some more, but Stephen wants to podcast. His willingness to quit indicates that he is an unbeliever. I'll play along for now.

-Went home and showed my roommate. His indoctrination has begun. Time for sleep.

-I've awoken with strange marks on my arm. I feel like my 3DS was talking. Must have been a dream. Time to study... with Rayman breaks of course.

Monday, March 28

-Too much studying to do. My new toy must wait. I'll give it a spin when I get the chance for a break. I will carry it around for a coins and Street Passes though.

-I'm starting to see things in what I call "3DS vision". My sink actually looked like I was viewing it through a stereoscopic screen. It's freaking weird.

-I'm sorry, 3DS. I didn't mean what I said earlier. I love you...

Tuesday, March 29

-I got 2 Street Passes today!!! I'm happier than I've ever been ever!

-I just came out of a daze. My roommate says I was staring at the 3DS's menu for over 5 hours. He says it was creepy. I told him it was revenge for him getting overly-drunk on the first two podcasts. That's a decent enough cover story. I feel like something is taking me over.

-I want to give it a break, but I just can't. It's like... it won't let me.

Wednesday, March 30


Thursday, March 31

-Just looked back on yesterday's entry. What the hell does that mean!? I think I'm losing my mind.

-I'm starting to get physically and mentally tired when I don't get street passes within 24 hours of each other.

-I'm pretty sure Ryu from Street Fighter actually punched me in the face while I was playing. IN THE FACE!

-Okay, it's official. The thing is trying to enslave me. Good thing my name isn't Monkey or that guy from that black website might call my 3DS racist. I need to get rid of it. It sucks, but if I don't who knows what might happen.

-I stuffed the 3DS in a bag and threw it in the Brazos River. I just got back. I'm going to bed... I need some rest.

Friday, April 1

-I woke up with the fucker on my chest! It's just sitting there! It's a demon! It has to be! Nothing this amazing could come without a price (besides the money I payed for it)! What a fool I've been!

-I must submit. Otherwise... I'll never find peace. AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Why did I bother to write that?

-I must spy on Stephen... must make sure he is one of us.

-What's this!? He turned it off! Something is amiss. I'm breaking in.

-Only two street passes including me? He is clearly a non-believer. He... must... die.

-I smothered him in his sleep with a pillow and took his 3DS. I understand what I must do. I must reunite my 3DS with all of it's brethren. Then it will have the power to conquer everyone!!! I must rest before this endeavor

Saturday, April 2

-Ph'nglui mglw'nafh 3DS Sh'gyeh wgah'negl fhtagn
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh 3DS Sh'gyeh wgah'negl fhtagn
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh 3DS Sh'gyeh wgah'negl fhtagn
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh 3DS Sh'gyeh wgah'negl fhtagn
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh 3DS Sh'gyeh wgah'negl fhtagn
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh 3DS Sh'gyeh wgah'negl fhtagn

Friday, April 8, 2011

Four Reasons Why I Wish I Was a Video Game Character

1. General Badassery

Let's be honest when was the last time you played a video game where the hero of the game wasn't awesome in some (if not all) way(s). It's the condition you must meet in order to be the hero. Being the Hero comes with all the perks. Saying things that would normally get your ass beat down so quick, without flinching, knowing without any fear that even if that huge obviously superior alien gets angry you are still Man enough to take that sonofabitch down. The Hero is charming, and funny. He always gets the girl by flaunting his obvious awesome, his beaming charm and his relieving comic remarks, and he makes me feel funny on the inside....that's normal right...? I basically want to be Nathan Drake. Who doesn't, though?

2. Cheats

Well duh.
"Oh man... I wish I had a less crappy car. I got it! I'll just pull out my phone... 227-555-0147..." 
SWEET! A new super awesome car dropped from the sky in front of me!
Let me use my immunity from the law to drop this car on all the people I hate.

"Man... that guy pisses me off... Good thing I can spawn any weapon I want... Hmmmm... this should do nicely."

And If I die, I can always just heal with my handy physics-cheating phone, as long as I input the appropriate code that can be found anywhere on the internet!! 
It would be so awesome, and is also a great lead into...

3. Damage Resistance, Lives, Saves/Loads, and Checkpoints

Okay, this one might the crown jewel. Think about it, you go into a test, come out knowing you failed. RELOAD

You were at a party, and then the next day you woke up in bed with that fat chick/dude at the party and you cannot remember a thing....

You said "You are acting just like your mother!!" to your girl

You farted loudly in class

You got real drunk and found yourself making out with your best friends sister
well... use your judgment on that one.

Man, think about how great that would be...

Next imagine you have video game character damage receiving  capability: As long as you don't get shot in the head (and sometimes even if you do!) Just don't get shot again for a while. Your eyes will be covered in an opaque red something, or the color of the world might go away, or you might freakishly be able to see the veins in your eyes despite how impossible that is; but as long as you just take a break, don't get shot again for a while all things will be fine. The video game character has very very fast healing abilities. Punches hardly even do a thing! You would be king of bar fights. Even if the cops do show up, just pull out your phone, and call the cops off! Video games have it easy.

4. Upgrades

This is NOT what I meant!!
What if you happen to be a video game character who just so happens to also be a puss bag. No worries. Upgrade!! You can enhance anything these days! ANYTHING!
Are you out of shape? Unable to run or fight for long amounts of time? Next time you have acquired enough experience, simply throw some points down into Fatigue! If you can't many take punches or bullets without having to reload the game, drop some of those handy exp points into Stamina! You will be the toughest jock in the neighborhood before you know it!  

Four simple reasons why my life would be infinitely better if I had the simple amenities that video game characters take for granted everyday. It's a sad realization, but if we fight, we might one day prove our worth to get the rights we deserve!!! Or... something... eh. 

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Sonic (Generations?) Teaser Trailer

On the facebooks, I am a fan of Sonic the Hedgehog. My reasons are mostly nostalgia related as I can't stand a vast majority of the newer games starring the Blue Blur. But I guess it does come in handy to be a fan as I will always be alerted to the next disappointment early on. Unless... the game doesn't look like shit! That's where Generations (is that what they're calling it?) comes in.

Wait! Is that!?

IT IS! THAT IS ORIGINAL SHORT FUCKING SONIC THAT I HAVE BEEN MISSING FOR UNCOUNTABLE YEARS! To be honest, when I first saw the little guy my heart dropped. I thought they just invented Sonic Jr. or something just as infinitely horrible. Then I realized the truth and happy times were had by all! Anyway, if SEGA is including the Sonic fans have been wanting to see for years then who knows? We might get a new Sonic game even better than Sonic 4 Episode 1 (and yes it WAS good). I'M ACTUALLY EXCITED ABOUT A SONIC GAME!

Of course... it is just a teaser... and nothing is official so that could actually be a Sonic Jr. *gulp* *blank screen with ominous music*

Rayman (Mostly 3DS) Review

Yay! It's Rayman! It's in 3D! It's really awesome!

Honestly, I feel like that's about all I can say about the game. It's a perfect Rayman game. Just as good as any you have every played, except in 3D. The music is always fun and keeps you jammin' a little bit, the Teensies, Globox and Rayman provide doses and doses of hilarious charm again and again. The 3DS controls like a friggen dream, and the depth is as real as it gets. The levels are difficult enough to keep you entertained, but not hard enough to discourage you. The collectibles are not always obvious, you'll find yourself searching for several hours to find those last 10 Lums, but that's the name of the platforming/collectible game. It is basically Rayman2 if I remember correctly, but its Rayman2 in 3D, in your hand-held 3DS. Absolutely worth it, a great game, and one of the best ones out for the 3DS right now (although.... that isn't saying a whole lot.... Damn you Nintendo!!!)

Hallway scenes like this, would sometimes get really blurry.
I want to talk more about the 3DS itself, seeing as how Rayman has really no flaws as a game (well.. sometimes to camera pissed me off). The only issue I had with it, was occasionally the 3D got a little out of synch. I'm not entirely sure why this would happen, but anytime an object would cover a majority of the screen, the depth was lost, and instead the image would blur which hurt my eyes from time to time. I found myself turning the 3D off at points in the game due to this, which in a way irritated me because I felt like I was cheating myself from the experience. It is supposed to be in 3D after all?
Luckily, the 3DS is powerful enough to produce stunning imagery despite the absence of the stereoscopic screen. The graphics are really quite stunning, seeing as how they are being produced by a hand-held device. I took my 3DS, turned the 3D off, and held it up to my TV playing a Wii game, and the graphics were really really close. I was quite impressed. This system has quite a bit of power.
The power of the device brings up the question of battery power, however. The first thing people have asked me about the system is: "How does the battery hold up" To this I usually reply: "Not as well as I hoped, but better than I expected."

Also, I really love the Joystick. I really really really love the Joystick.

 I knew with a 3D screen, capable of Wii graphics that this was going to drraaaiiiiinnnn some batteries(luckily, the days of AA's is long gone), as much as I wanted it to last as long as my DS Lite, I knew that was asking way too much. I was impressed however once I finally did a battery test. I played (or left it open, running, out of sleep mode) until it died, and it lasted about 5hours. Not bad at all. That's with the 3D running the whole time. I then took it to school and played for 30mins here, an hour there, between classes, closing it (putting into sleep mode) while I was in class, and it lasted essentially all day. I got home and cracked it open, and I had to charge it after about 30minutes, but it did last all day.

The depth I won't even try to explain, because you just have to see it. It is absolutely flawless. Save for that random issue in Rayman, I have never experienced any other problem with it. Go check it out.

So yea, go get the 3DS, and get Rayman. It is absolutely worth it to hold you over until the real games come out.

Rayman gets a 9!
3DS gets a 10!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The Elitist's Least Favorite Video Game Moments: Sidekicks (Noooo, not you Kazooie)

Hey I know you are busy you know, saving the world and beating up really really bad guys, and Ima let you finish. But, uh... you know... You can shoot the big glowing eyeball on the boss to win.
Hey I know you are busy you know, saving the world and beating up really really bad guys, and Ima let you finish. But, uh... you know... You can shoot the big glowing eyeball on the boss to win.

I KNOW!!!!!!!

We all know the feeling. That annoying mentor character/helpful sidekick that gives you useful (obvious) information throughout the game. The moment you actually have to stop and think about what to do, the Up-C button starts to blink because Navi HAS TO TELL YOU that Death Mountain looks scary, or that these vines on the wall look climbable, because you totally didn't know that.
Thanks for letting me know Navi.


Oh.. yes?

"Death Mountain looks scary... go check it out."

I-I know... we just had this conversation, we are in Kakariko Village right now. We are going to-



"Death Mountain looks scary!"
Please Die.

I know that teasing Navi is about as easy as throwing paper wads at that kid who eats glue all day, but it's annoying sidekick example numero uno, and a good lead into someone else I hate.
General Kota.

The first part is the important part. (first 2mins or so)

Now, understand this guy knew how the fight went, so Kota only had a chance to say his 1000 pieces of advice once, but imagine not knowing what your doing, so Kota tells you.

"Try attacking the shackles!"
"Give 'em a good shock!"

EVERY FLIPPING TIME you miss the opportunity, because you are not quite sure how the mechanics work yet. It took me about 5-10minutes to figure out how the shackles worked, and then (because I played on the hardest difficulty) I sometimes failed, because the Gorog would move his fist before I could "give it a good shock!!" uugghhhh, shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up!!!!

So, moving away from the blatantly annoying loudmouth side kicks, I want to talk about a more subtle annoyance. The never pleased Kreia from KotOR. From the very first time you meet her, she always gives off this neutral vibe. She informs you of all possibilities, and hints at the consequences of each one. The fact that its a good or evil thing to do doesn't seem to go into her equation while giving advice.She apparently believes that you have to be neutral also. Let's say you gave away half of your credits so that lonely, hungry, dying, homeless Jawa so he can board the next frigate home, and can actually eat a meal tonight. Well, as soon as the little fellow is out of sight (even if Kreia isn't with you) Kreia will chime in:

"If you seek to aid everyone that suffers in the galaxy, you will only weaken yourself… and weaken them. It is the internal struggles, when fought and won on their own, that yield the strongest rewards. You stole that struggle from them, cheapened it. If you care for others, then dispense with pity and sacrifice and recognize the value in letting them fight their own battles. And when they triumph, they will be even stronger for the victory."

Leading you to believe that if you want to be in Kreia's favor, you had better mean up a bit. So, you are moving along, doin' that exiled Jedi thing, then suddenly a group of thieves jump into your path, you can simply scare them off, but as the turn to leave, you attack, fighting all of the thieves, killing them for slowing your path to your destiny. Surely that is what Kreia would want... Right? Wrong. She says things like this.

"Do not see every enemy as an enemy—see them instead as an ally, whether they know it or not"
"Are psychotic urges all that drive you?"


So pure neutrality right? Just coast through the universe indifferent and neutral, playing the game as it comes around, is that what you want Kreia??

"So you will do nothing? Apathy is death. Worse than death, because at least a rotting corpse feeds the beasts and insects."
**Kills self**

Monday, April 4, 2011

David Cage Criticizes L.A. Noire Motion Capture Technology

If there's anything I've learned from watching the games industry for many years of my life, it's that individuals who work at game developing companies who criticizes other developers are dicks. I'm looking at you Peter Vesterbacka, founder of Rovio. DO YOU REALLY THINK YOUR SHITTY ANGRY BIRDS GAME IS GOOD ENOUGH TO COMPETE WITH REAL CONSOLE GAMES!? DO YOU REALLY THINK CONSOLES ARE DYING BECAUSE PEOPLE BUY $2 TIME WASTER GAMES ON THEIR MOBILE PHONES!? ARE YOU REALLY THAT MASSIVE OF A TOOL!? GUESS WHAT! I CAN PLAY THE GAMES YOU RIPPED OFF FOR FREE ON THE INTERNET. ANGRY BIRDS SUCKS AND SO DO YOU!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!

Oh goodness, I'm sorry. That happens every now and then. I think I'm part Hulk. Anyway, this isn't about Vesterbacka, WHO I FUCKING HA-*ahem*. It's about that David Cage fella who made Heavy Rain. You know, that badly animated quick-time event with awful voice acting. According to mister "my story is perfect and anyone who points out the plot-holes is a moron" Vesterbacka, the (amazing) motion capture technology that was used to create Rockstar's upcoming L.A. Noire is a "dead end".

In an interview with CVG, Cage stated, "I think it's an interesting solution to a problem for now. But it's also an interesting dead end. That's exactly what I feel. Their technique is incredibly expensive and they will never be able to shoot body and face at the same time... We see a huge difference between shooting the face and body separately and shooting everything at the same time. Suddenly you've got a real sense of acting that is consistent...We've made significant progress since Heavy Rain and will continue to make progress until we reach the stage of Avatar. That is probably three, four... five years from now.”

Oh David Cage, do you not realize how much of an ass you sound like. Technology advances. That's what it does. Of course it won't be used forever, but I guarantee you that advances will be made off the back of this tech. I haven't exactly seen any new impressive tech from you recently... or ever. I also wouldn't call Avatar photo-realistic. Gameplay that allows us to make decisions based on facial animations is revolutionary and you should celebrate it. Maybe the new mo-cap could actually help your characters' look right in the future.



It doesn't end there, though. Cage then seemingly tried to cover his own ass by telling the interviewer, "I think L.A. Noire looks good - honestly, it does - but I don't think they'll go much further than where they are.” Well if that isn't the most backhanded compliment I've ever heard. I'm sure Rockstar is just elated that you think their game looks "good". Not great, just good. Well, I guess we'll see what the public and media think when the response to L.A. Noire is compared to whatever game you have up your ass.

The Outlaw's Favorite Game Moments: Don't Fuck With A Witch

Creepy, effeminate, anime men aside, the last fight in Bayonetta is a hectic masterpiece. But that actually isn't the reason I love it so much. What makes it appealing to me is how it actually manages to defy the conventions of the game. Up until this point, everyone's favorite witch has been a cocky little lady who has managed to hurt or kill anything remotely angelic by summoning her hair demon things. This is no longer the case. Now she's up against the big bad and things are a bit different.

He fucked with a witch

Before you misinterpret what I mean and think I just like seeing her beat up on, I must tell you that's not it at all. I'm not that piece-of-shit, scum-sucker Chris Brown. The reason this sticks out is because of what I mentioned before. If you go by the cut-scenes or fights she is never topped. Nothing stands much of a chance against her and her hair demons beat the hell out of everything. Not anymore. I mean... HE MANAGES TO HIT HER! Also, he pwns one of her hair summons.

I bring this up because it was one of the first boss fights I've played in a while that gave me a full sense that this fight stands above the others. Sure, Bayonetta toppled some pretty powerful beings, but they never phase her. This one does. And beyond all that, it drives her to drop the f-bomb.

That might sound unimportant, but it actually is. In most games cursing is thrown around like a baby at a British nanny convention. That is not the case in Bayonetta, at least with the main character. Until this very scene she doesn't say the word once, so you know she bloody well means it when she does. It gives the word the impact it has lost in entertainment media. And for that, I make with the applauding.

In conclusion, GO PLAY BAYONETTA!

Friday, April 1, 2011

The Elitist's Favorite Video Game Moments: The InstaGib

Yea, and who doesn't love an old fashioned instagib. The gun that wins is always the favorite of the FPS multiplayer warrior, because, you'd have to be a brain dead donkey nipple to not love sending your opponent into oblivion with a single shot. It's the ultimate battling pleasure.

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