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Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Outlaw's Least Favorite Game Moments: Isabella from Dragon Age 2

OMG SPOILERS AND JUNK!

Wow. The more I write about Dragon Age the more I think I might secretly hate it. I mean... I think I like it, but I don't think I've actually typed one positive sentence about the series. Maybe I'm just insane. But I do stand by my claims that all of the problems I have with the games deserve to be mentioned. Seeing as I've spanked Dragon Age 1's ass a couple of times I guess it's DA2's turn. This time, it's all about Isabella. That gypsy-pirate woman who likes boats.
For those of you who don't know, this is a boat.

Don't me wrong. I don't really HATE the character. Mostly just what they do with her. So the woman lost an object she stole and she feels like the best course of action to protect herself is to find it. OK, that's fine. You might be a thief, but I've killed a lot of people, so who am I to judge? Although she does come off as a slut with her ridiculously huge boobs, ass hanging out, and her subtle hints about wanting to sleep with me. I can forgive that too though. I am quite dashing. But like I said, it goes beyond that.

What? No. They are 100% natural. *AHEM*

I treated the character well. I was nice to her. I gave her gifts. No, I didn't sleep with her. I wanted my penis to remain disease free. She didn't really hate me for that though. The fact of the matter is, I didn't take her with me enough. I had no need for a character with her specialties. I was nice and she liked me, but just not enough. But what did I care, I didn't think it mattered. WRONG!

Before the shit hits the fan in act 2, Isabella gets a lead on where the stolen object is. Me, being a nice guy, agrees to help her out. Anything for a friend! DUUUUUUURRRRRRR! We find the building and she begs me to let her keep the item even though it doesn't actually belong to her. I say yes. Did I mention DUUUUUUUUUUUUR. So we go in, kill some people, and then watch Isabella chase the possessor of the object out of the building. We go outside to find a dead body and a note from the wench telling how her best option is to just leave. So she does. For good.

That's why I date elves.

That's right. Without warning DA2 will take away Isabella if you aren't good enough friends. Don't have a save early enough to keep that from happening? TOO BAD, ASSHOLE! Have fun with two members of your party gone forever. You must feel sooooo dumb.






SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DUMB!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

The OandE Episode 4

Hey kiddos! It's your favorite random surprise, when me and Chris actually get together and podcast! Boy do we have a treat for you this time!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Duke Nukem Forever Delayed Again?


Look, I have never been a Duke Nukem fanboy even though 3D was pretty great. But the more and more I see of Forever the more excited I get. It looks pretty fantastic. I have no need to remind the internet of the running joke that it has been delayed a ridiculous number of times... but it has been delayed a ridiculous number of times. Then Gearbox happened and blah blah blah. Point is, it finally had a real, tangible release date. Excuse me... had.


YOU CHEEKY FUCKERS!

Yup, it happened. While I honestly think they'll stick to this one, I still have that Deja vu feeling. OH WELL 3DS SOON!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Resident Evil 4 and Code Veronica HD Remakes! Heres to hoping Capcom isn't pulling our legs.

There was Internet buzz, rumor, and speculation, based on some screen shots, that Capcom was planning to release High Definition remakes of RE4 and Code Veronica. Well, today more pictures hit the web seemingly proving that rumor.

Suprise!! Castelvania Reverie DLC Downloadable on PS3

Those of us who were shocked (and frankly, really confused) with the end of Castlevania: Lords of Shadow have been looking forward to this DLC hoping it will answer some of the questions we all have about the ending of Konami's newest installment to the Castlevania franchise. Well, normally I would say that you are just going to have to wait until March 30th when the DLC was scheduled to release. Well, Konami pulled a fast one on us by releasing the PS3 version of the DLC this morning! Whoo!

Konami claims that the XBOX360 version will be released soon, so I hope that means it will be released by at least the 30th. We'll see. Until then, have fun PS3 owners! I hope the DLC adds sense and closure to the end of Lords of Shadow

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Jack Thompson. He's back. He means business. He's as crazy as ever.

It's kind of the "cool thing to do if you are a video game blogger" to make fun of 'ol Jackie boy at every chance possible; and who am I to go against whats cool?

Several days ago  (March 18) our favorite video game bashing crazy man Jack Thompson, sent Valve a come-to-Jesus talk letter over a mod created for Half Life called School Shooter: North American Tour 2012. The letter involved all manner of ridiculous speculation and hilarious commentary, as well as a rather vague hinting at the horrible hell Thompson would reign down upon Valve. Sorta.

The Outlaw's Favorite Game Moments: Waggleton P. Tallylicker


Remember back when I gave Bulletstorm a 10 because it is amazing? Sure, I went on and on about the amazing weapons and gameplay, but the final selling point was definitely the humor. Some might find it juvenile, but that's only if you have a big ol' stick up your ass. So what happens when they decided to combine one of the best weapons ever with one of the funniest moments I have ever seen? Waggleton... that's what fucking happens. Oh, and if you're wondering who Waggleton is... he's a giant robotic dinosaur of death. You use him to do this.


*sniff*

But we must look beyond the humor to see what is really going on. In reality, this is a beautiful story of love between a man and his 50 foot tall pet of doom. Our hero finds the poor beast living under the oppression of evil men. Upon being liberated, Waggleton looks to Grayson as his new master and best friend. In return for being freed, he defends his master from all those who would do him harm, and, in the process, gives his life. It's one of the saddest things I've ever seen. You will live on Waggleton... in our hearts.

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