I remember when Wind Waker came out when I was in middle school and everyone I knew was complaining about how it looked. I, however, was not among them because I am not a little bitch. Anyway, the game was absolutely beautiful and I loved every minute of it... Well maybe not eveeerrrry minute. This is a least favorite article after all. "So what could this moment be," you ask stupidly as the answer is in the title. Well, dear reader, it is paying that obnoxious little "fairy" (hey, he says he wants to be one) Tingle for deciphering your maps.
You see, after you get the master sword you have to power it up using pieces of the Triforce. In order to find them, you have to pay Tingle a shit-ton of money to decipher a bunch of maps. If you walk up to him with over 2000 rupees, it won't be enough to interpret all of them. Basically, that means spending more money on treasure maps to get even more money to pay Tingle. And thus, the bastard perpetuates a vicious cycle. OBSERVE MORTAL!
You know what Tingle... burn in hell. Just... burn in hell... forever.
News post!
So first off, I want to apologize for our minimalism as of late, we are currently in the throws of final exams for this semester, so we have been pretty busy with the studies and that school thing. That being said, as soon as school is done, we have many goodies to bring you, including podcast numero dos, and our game of the year picks!! So get pumped. Until then I bring you awesome
So, all it took for me was the phrase "Dead Space 2 releases January 28th, 2011" and I was immediately excited. I loooove me some Dead Space. Love it. However, most people probably require a bit more hype, and so I have taken in upon myself to bring you as much Dead Space 2 hype as I can. If you don't want the game by the time I am done, then I have failed. Luckily for me, this trailer should help.
This is definitely the biggest single player tease we have received from Visceral, and it just makes me more pumped. It literally gave me chills. Be excited for this game!
Does anyone remember the Genesis version of the Aladdin game and how great it was? I do. And in honor of the Disney love that will soon be pouring out of your speakers when you listen to our yet to be posted second podcast, I decided to bring you a quick moment from this old gem. The game is full of fun little moments and references, two of them being in the second level. One is some Mickey ears hanging out to dry on a clothes-line. The second is a hilarious little moment that this article is actually about. And it is brought to you by Aladdin's mischievous monkey sidekick, Abu. Watch the video below. The moment I speak of is at about 3: 38.
Looks like Abu ambushed him outside of the little guards room. How'd that "We've all got swords" thing work out for everyone?
Man, Abu is just owning that guy! I mean, he couldn't weigh more than 8 pounds and he's just kicking that guards ass! How embarrassing. When I was but a lad, I would sit and watch that for like 10 minutes. I hope this adds a smile to your day!
Golden Sun Dark Dawn is here! If you have a DS and like Golden Sun go play it! It's fun I love it, and I shall have a review up for it within a week or so. I want to get some quality time on it. That being said, I have experienced one part of the game that sent me into blindingly beastly bouts of barbaric, burning, and baby beating rage. (too much?) that moment would be the games prologue.
So, the game starts off 30 years after the events of Golden Sun 2, Isaac, Garet and crew are old and have children! So the player controls, primarily, Isaac's son: Matthew. Well, at the beginning of the game, Garets son Tyrell is an idiot and ends up getting himself lost in a forest with some crazy magical wings he cannot utilize properly. Whatever, go play it. So, as a test, Isaac sends Matthew into the woods to find and rescue Tyrell. This is supposed the prologue/tutorial mission. Normally these parts of the game are fine, typically prologues are short, teach you the things unique to that game, and then move on. Well, this game does not. What it does, first, is make this mission actually quite long. The puzzles are not particularly easy, but the fights are.
Isaac and Garet are still awesome
What happens is Isaac and Garet decide that Matthew and Karis(another companion) might need help, so they join your party, kind of. You cannot control them in battle, but you can request their help if things get too dicey, which is fine. All these things are fine and appropriate and not contemptible. What really frustrated me was that the whole time you are moving along, every time you do anything Isaac and Garet step to tell you about what you did, why you did it, how you did it, and what you need to do to keep doing it correctly. Every. Damn. Time. They never just say "Hey cool, good job, you utilized game mechanics to move that block" they go into HUGE amounts of detail about why you were able to move that block and how they didn't think you would figure out how to do that on your own and GRRR!!! They just talk way too long, way too often interrupting the game at every turn.
I bet that flower is just nothing
Real game example. You reach an impasse in the forest, where Isaac is under the impression there is some supernatural force keeping the party "tangled" in the "Tangled Woods" (har har) and that there must a source to the sorcery(kills self) somewhere near by. So Garet, using his fireball Psynergy, is supposed to destroy something to make these crazy tangle-y roots go away. So first they explain the obviously simple method of launching fireballs, then instead of just allowing you to shoot the HUGE PULSING GLOWING FLOWER THAT IS OBVIOUSLY THE SOURCE OF THE ROOTS you are forced to shoot aimless fireballs until Garet faces the correct direction on his own, at which point you just press A, or tap the screen to launch the fireball (Which you had already done 2-3 times, just in the wrong directions.. well.. because stupid). You can skip to about 9:20 in the forth video "Golden Sun: Dark Dawn Walkthrough - Part 4: Tanglewood[1/2]" in the videos I posted at the end to witness this particular moment. It takes far too long, and it really feels like I was being guided through the mission like a child.
On that note, however, I do realize this game is supposed to target a younger audience, I was certainly a young pup when I played the first two. That, however has a counter arguement. First, its an RPG, a super young audience, an age group that would require the amount of explanation they gave in this prologue, are not going to be able to solve some of these puzzles no matter how much tutorial you give them. Golden Sun puzzles are notoriously difficult. Second, where this game might target a younger crowd, the fan base for these games has grown up. The main players of this game, I can guarantee you, will be gamers like me, who played these games on road trips with their family. So, I guess what I am trying to say is DO NOT MAKE THE PROLOGUE SO DAMN IRRITATING!!
You can watch it all here, and witness its irritating length. For instance.. you read for 20mins before you even get to sort of play.
Part 1: Intro
Part 2: Intro.....
Part 3: Now you start playing
Part 4: This one (at about 9min 20sec) has the example I used above.
Dear friends and readers, have you found yourself down in the dumps lately? Depressed? Saddened by the events in your life? Well, I have the perfect solution for you. The name of this wonderful miracle cure, you ask? Why, it is none other than Epic Mickey! The best Wii game of the year!
Alright, so I suppose it's time for some background. A long time ago in a land called Universal Studios, a man named Walt Disney created a character named Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. However, his bosses were cruel masters, and ripped Oswald away from him. So he left this kingdom and created his own. He then invented Mickey Mouse and the rest is history. However, in the game's canon, there is a world made specifically for Disney's forgotten characters, places, and things. Mickey gets sucked into this world, where Oswald is king, and he must set things right. Namely, because he was responsible for a giant thinner disaster that screwed up the world. Anyway, moving on.
OH BOY!
So what makes this game so spectacular? Well sit back and I'll tell you. To be honest, I find it quite impossible to convey just how wonderful the Disney love in the game is. Everything from old Mickey game SNES and NES cartridges to the freaking Nautilus from 20,000 leagues under the sea; from Horace Horsecollar to several incantations of Pete inhabit this land. There are so many homages to wonderful Disney creations I honestly couldn't stop smiling. The amount of love and care put into this game is an achievement in and of itself.
HOMAGE!
Adding to this is the main game mechanic of using paint and thinner to interact with the world around you. You can use paint to rebuild, make friends with enemies, and overall become more liked, and you can use thinner to destroy and look for secrets. There are several choices in the game that ask you to choose between the two and they ultimately have an effect on how people react to you and what missions you can take on. I bet you weren't expecting such depth from a Mickey game, eh? Usually, there are a couple of ways you can deal with situations. You can sometimes take the easy way out, which usually effects another character negatively, or you can work to solve the problem for everyone. Hell, I've sometimes found objects that I could either give to someone who had emotional attachment to them, or I could sell them for E-tickets (money). Like I said, lots of depth, especially for a Mickey game.
Ughhh... Can I help you?
The cut-scenes are amazing and I was honestly always in a hurry to see the next one. The art is wonderful and the dialogue is really charming and funny. Some people have complained about the lack of voice acting, talking is reduced to grunts and noises, but something to take into account is that some of the best Disney cartoons have no talking. So there. On top of that, the animation is honestly some of the best I've ever seen. Mickey scampers and moves likes he should. When he jumps he stretches out, displaying that famous Disney elasticity. Did I mention the game was lovingly made? Even using the Wiimote isn't a pain. I'm serious. It's accurate and hitting your target comes with ease.
Paint time is fun time!
My only complaint (seriously, my only complaint) is the camera. It's not very responsive and sometimes it gives you awful angles that can result in your death. However, I found myself cursing at Assassin's Creed more than this. In fact, I haven't cursed at this game once. It's that charming and amazing. However, the camera is bad enough to keep it from being perfect. Sad face.
In a nutshell, the game is amazing. I hate to be that straightforward, but I can't help it. It's honestly one of the best games you're going to find on the Wii, and I don't mean that negatively at all. It's got something for Disney fans and regular gamers alike. Thank you Warren Spector, for being amazing yet again.
It's been forever since we've had a true Donkey Kong game. Hell Donkey Kong hasn't even been the main focus of a legit game since Donkey Kong Country 1. Well, now retro studios has finally given us a reason to care about the big ape again, but is it any good? Read on brave adventures, and discover the truth!
First off, the base of the game brings things back to their roots. It's just Donkey and Diddy in a sidescrolling adventure trying to get their bananas back. That's where things start to veer off, however, and not in a bad way. The first big difference is how Diddy is utilized. Instead of him trailing behind you, waiting for you to switch between characters, he rides on Donkey's back. This way you can use his jet-pack to hover for a short time. He also adds some extra hits to the life bar. In two player mode Diddy moves independently, but once he is on DK's back the second player relinquishes all control to the first one. All they can do at this point is shoot a peanut gun which stuns enemies. Basically, this doesn't help multiplayer's points, but who cares. This is Donkey Kong. The only real issue I had with this system is it sometimes made me overly dependent on Diddy. Get hitting twice, being able to take multiple hits this time is a plus by the way, saw my little monkey buddy off. This left me with a lesser ability to jump which I lamented. Other than that, the whole system is quite useful.
So... pretty...
Beyond this, I've never seen such a wonderful, living 2d environment. Animals sat in the backgorund, DK's ground pounds saw the plant-life shake, and launching into the background made things feel more dynamic. The silhouette levels are also a beautiful addition. There are also little touches like ants moving in the foreground and rocks in the background forming shapes that reward you with bananas when you stop to look at them. In fact, part of what makes the game so great is the little additions that Retro Studios lovingly and creatively added. "But Chris, you magnificent star in the night sky, are there in problems with the game," you ask. Unfortunately, yes, there are. The main one being the controls.
And for a brief moment in Chris' life, everything was as it should be.
Instead of just letting us use a classic controller, it was decided that motion controls would be the way to go. You know what that means. Shake the wiimote to pound the ground. Shake the wiimote in a different way to roll and make a long jump. Throw the wiimote across the room to express frustration. OK, it never gets that bad, but Donkey Kong is all about precision and motion controls aren't precise. That leads me to my other issue. The game can be too effing hard! I know DK games are hard. I would be pissed if it wasn't. Sometimes things just seem unfair at points. It's all doable, it can just be too frustrating. One time I found myself fighting a boss on a mine-cart. The main part of the fight involves jumping from yours to the train of carts the bosses sit on. However, this means all you have to do it fall and that's it. Fight over. Try again. Boss fights should not work that way!
But then again, WHO CARES!? MINE-CARTS ARE BACK!
Beyond all this, there's not much else to say. Besides not letting us use a classic control, it's an extremely well done and beautiful throwback that will remind you why the old ones were great. At the same time, it adds enough to make it feel new. For the most part, it's just what a sequel should be. Most likely, your Wii has been collected dust, so why don't you show it some lovin' and pick up one of DK's finest outings!
8 out of 10... wait for it... MONKEY LICE! Haha you thought I was going to say bananas!
Let me take the typical "let me take a moment before I start to.." intro to take a moment before I start to ask you a few questions.
Did you like Assassins Creed?
Did you like Assassins Creed2?
Did you like Assassins Creed 2 a little more than the first one because it wasn't *quite* as repetitive?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions (and especially if you answered yes to all of them) let me save you some reading time by saying, just go get the game. If you are unsure still, continue on I shall, because I love you. D'aawww.
So I suppose I'll begin by hating it, so when I realize in the second part of my review how much I actually enjoyed it, the contrast will be truly artistic. My biggest issue with the game is the enormous feeling of repetition. It has always been a problem with the franchise, and still remains to some degree. AC:B has done the best at making you feel as though you are doing different things, there are just so many damnable quests, at times I reached points where I would just stare at the map in frustrated awe at how much I haven't finished. Admittedly I suppose this is a good problem for some. 99.9% of the side missions are not at all crucial to the completion of the story, but are often helpful to making you more powerful. So, it's give and take I suppose. My other major problem with AC:B is it felt as though UbiSoft watered down the difficulty of the combat in order to make Ezio look more awesome. It was successful, but I often walked away from piles and piles of Roman guards having only used 1 health potion thinking: "Wow... that was really easy..." While it looks bad-ass, the new kill-combo thingy-majig makes Ezio a god among men. The deal is, whenever you get a couple kills in succession on your own (counter, or combo) without taking damage you gain the ability to simply tap x(or square I guess.. for you ps3 kids), while holding the control stick towards and enemy and kill them instantly; and you can do this over and over and over ad infinitum (until you take damage). Now, don't get me wrong, it looks freaking awesome, simply because it is absolutely beautifully choreographed and the way Ezio utilizes his weapons (daggers, swords, hidden blade, pistol and cross-bow) is just stunningly awesome. My issue is that now, battles with a bajillion guards is just easy mode. Finally even if your ability to roflpwn everyone in one hit isn't enough you can always just tell your assassin recruits to just kill everyone around you. Instantly. Really reallyreeeaaaaaallllyyyyyyyyyy awesome. Just too easy in some ways, not always as fulfilling.
The last thing I wasn't so much a fan of, and it's mostly just me whining, is the full synchronization stuff. All of your missions had some condition that had to be met in order to beat the mission 100%. If you failed to meet that condition you would still complete the mission, just not 100%. A completionists nightmare. These conditions would be things like, only kill this certain guy, kill no one, only use this weapon, kill this guy this way, etc. etc. Not really a flaw, just annoying to me when I would have to start a mission over and over and over to get 100%. Finally, screw those damnable lute players.
Now, as I think more and more about what I don't like, I realize all the things about the game I absolutely loved. Despite my complaining about the combat, I cannot stress enough how FREAKING AWESOME it is. Assassins Creed will always have beautiful combos and kill-sequences, man its cool. Also, again despite by bitching, the missions (while too numerous sometimes) are allot more diverse. For instance, *minor spoiler? but if you watched the trailer you should know this.....* You meet up with Da Vinci again, and he has you go out and destroy machines he was forced to build for Borgia. As you go and burn up the plans and attempt to destroy the war machines, you get to use the bloody things! Rolling around in a Da Vinci tank, running over Romans and shooting huge cannon balls at everything is nothing short of bad-ass. All of the Da Vinici missions are just really well.. awesome. All of the side missions are at least close to the as far as caliber of fun. Some are more difficult than others, some are pretty amusing, and some are just really cool. This game has so far done the best at making the huge amount of missions seem not so redundant and monotonous, and I really enjoyed the missions 90% of the time. There are just a f**kload of the freakin things. Another thing I really enjoyed is that where they removed some difficulty in combat, the amped it up in stealth. Allot of the missions are based on reaching your goal with out being detected at all. Even more missions are only completed with 100% synchronization in the same way. I have always been a fan of stealth type game-play (stuff like Splinter Cell) so this was pretty refreshing and fun for me. The story line? well.. it is so freaking great. I won't say anything, and it wouldn't matter if I did, you would not understand; I sure don't. I love it. I was always really impressed at how well the Assassin recruit thing was implemented. It didn't take all of your focus, but was still pressing enough to be exciting. And then getting to use are recruits was always fun/helpful.
watch at some videos. I can't pick just one...
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Anyway, game-play? Awesome. Story line? Awesome. Combat? Pretty cool. Environment? You are in freakin Rome, it's awesome. Ezio? Awesome. Game? Awesome.
1:24 AM
The Outlaw
